Porch Garden Season 2 Episode 2

I took some more pictures of my porch garden the day before yesterday. I had finally remembered to charge the battery for my D200 so they're much fancier than the last set.

Oh, but first! That morning, Kyle and I made veggie Benedict. Toasted croissant, sliced tomato, poached egg (huge hassle!) and homemade Hollandaise (I'm a fantastic saucier, by the way):


Convolvulus sprouts:




Oregano and Tarragon:


Morning Glory:


Phlox sprouts:










Fiddle Leaf Fig:


Jessamine:


Everything is doing really well. Sometime this week I need to get more soil and put the Convolvulus and tomato sprouts in a pot. The Morning Glory is going crazy! I can't wait until it blooms.

Where the Wild Things Are

This looks awesome!

You're the Reason I Don't Want to be There

Man on campus: I've got great news for you about Jesus Christ! [shoves a neon pink piece of paper in my face]
Me: [politely] Oh, no thank you.
Man on campus: Oh, COME ON!!! Don't you want to go to Heaven when you die?
Me: [less politely] Absolutely not.
Man on campus to girl behind me: I've got great news for you about Jesus Christ! You ought to be careful! There's sinners on this campus that tell me they don't even WANT to go to Heaven!!!


Can someone please explain to me why this is acceptable?

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

from indexed.

[ETA: Also, Happy One Year Blogiversary!]

Panda Roll

Porch Garden, Season 2

Yesterday, Kyle and I decided it was time to fix up the porch garden again. Last year, we had some issues leaving for a month in the summer, specifically that it rains EVERY DAY during a Florida summer and our pots didn't drain properly. Many plants were lost to the flood. Winter claimed a few more, my pothos and purslane and a jalapeno plant that had been doing exceptionally well up until cold and drought killed it off.

Anyway, here's this season's porch garden on day 1:

Palm rescued from unoccupied next door porch, Carolina Jessamine, fiddle leaf fig (which has recently been cut in hopes of making a bushier plant instead of a very tall stick with some leaves at the top).


Real flower boxes are very expensive, so we got these and some zip ties and made our own. I planted Morning Glory seeds in this one.


See?


This one has Phlox.


We're trying out these Burpee "eco friendly" starters. Kyle planted "Tasty Treat" tomatoes in this one...


and I planted Convolvulus (I...think) in this one.


My darling avocado, another Carolina jessamine, and our little Areca palm (I'm sure that's not how it's spelled. Whatever)!


Oregano, tarragon, thai basil (I think the only remaining small plant survivor of the summer flood), pitiful desert rose, pot 'o lavender seeds, weed that Kyle insists is something that we planted but has no idea what it is. And Kyle's butt.


When Mom came to visit a while ago, she brought us a couple grocery store Basil plants. Grocery store herbs are the weakest little things but this one has done surprisingly well! Keep on truckin', little Basil plant!


Ok, so there's our new garden. We're hoping the jessamine will sort of climb onto the railing and make a kind of cover but we probably won't be living here long enough for that to happen. Oh, well, still pretty.

Kyle's dad made me a five pound soap mold which I used....last weekend? Two weeks ago? I'm not sure but I made lavender spearmint soap in it. It's awesome!


Also, a couple weeks ago, Kyle brought home a toy for Momo. It's a catnip seagull (?) with all of these red maribou feathers attached. She basically lost her freaking mind for this thing:



The aftermath.

Ok, that's all. Happy weekend, everybody!

Orff!

I remember a while back there was a Gatorade commercial that used O Fortuna from Carmina Burana by Carl Orff. I didn't like it. For some reason, I thought it was inappropriate but I didn't know why.



I found out today why! SKM posted on Shakesville about having seen a performance of Carmina Burana and gave a translation of the lyrics to O Fortuna:

25. O Fortuna (O Fortune)

O Fortuna, ----- O Fortune,
velut luna ----- like the moon
statu variabilis, ----- you are changeable,
semper crescis ----- ever waxing
aut decrescis; ----- and waning;
vita detestabilis ----- hateful life
nunc obdurat ----- first oppresses
et tunc curat ----- and then soothes
ludo mentis aciem, ----- as fancy takes it;
egestatem, ----- poverty
potestatem ----- and power
dissolvit ut glaciem. ----- it melts them like ice.


Sors immanis ----- Fate - monstrous
et inanis, ----- and empty,
rota tu volubilis, ----- you whirling wheel,
status malus, ----- you are malevolent,
vana salus ----- well-being is in vain
semper dissolubilis, ----- and always fades to nothing,
obumbrata ----- shadowed
et velata ----- and veiled
michi quoque niteris; ----- you plague me too;
nunc per ludum ----- now through the game
dorsum nudum ----- I bring my bare back
fero tui sceleris. ----- to your villainy.


Sors salutis ----- Fate is against me
et virtutis ----- in health
michi nunc contraria, ----- and virtue,
est affectus ----- driven on
et defectus ----- and weighted down,
semper in angaria. ----- always enslaved.
Hac in hora ----- So at this hour
sine mora ----- without delay
corde pulsum tangite; ----- pluck the vibrating strings;
quod per sortem ----- since Fate
sternit fortem, ----- strikes down the strong man,
mecum omnes plangite! ----- everybody weep with me!

The point of the commercial is ENTIRELY the opposite of the point of the song. I'm going to go ahead and call this irony. Kyle will probably say I'm wrong. He tells me often what is not irony but when I ask him what is irony, he says, "A fire extinguisher factory burns to the ground." That's the only example he has ever given me. I am unsatisfied with this.

Botticelli - Birth of Venus

Artist's Name: Sandro Botticelli
Piece Name: Birth of Venus
Date: ca. 1400
Period: Italian Renaissance
Material: Tempera on canvass
Purpose: Commission work for Medici family

Inspired by a popular poem of the time, Botticelli created probably his most famous work for the Medici family. Botticelli depicts Venus after her birth from the sea foam being carried to Cyprus on a cockle shell. Zephyrus is shown as a beautiful couple propelling the shell using their breath. The nymph Pomona awaits Venus on the shore with a brocaded mantle. The garments undulate in the gentle gusts and flowers fall from the sky to the rippling water below. This was one of the first representations of a female nude to occur during the Renaissance, as Medieval sensibilities banned such depictions. But the attitudes of the Renaissance were more accommodating and the protection afforded Botticelli by his association with the Medici gave him confidence to create the piece. While his style seems to have ignored the scientific knowledge his contemporaries had gained, particularly in the areas of anatomy and perspective, Botticelli painted his figures with an elegance and delicateness not commonly seen, particularly in the detail of the hands and feet of the figures.


(Click for larger view)

Masaccio - Tribute Money

Artist's Name: Masaccio
Piece Name: Tribute Money
Date: ca. 1400
Period: Italian Renaissance
Material: Fresco
Purpose: Brancacci Chapel fresco

Masaccio depicted a rarely used story from the Gospel of Matthew as the subject of this fresco. As Christ tries to enter the Roman town of Capernaum, he is stopped by the tax collector and ordered to pay tribute before he is permitted to enter. Christ sends Saint Peter to the shore of Lake Galilee where Saint Peter will find a fish with the tribute money in its mouth. This narrative is shown in three parts of the same panel. To the left of the piece, Saint Peter is seen on the lake shore pulling the fish from the water. In the center, Christ and the disciples are shown being stopped by the tax collector. To the right of the scene, Peter hands the tribute money to the tax collector who stands in front of the gate into the town.

The figures are painted as lit by a light source outside the frame. The light is angled and the angle remains constant throughout the piece. This allows much greater depth in the piece, as does the placement of the figures in a spacious landscape, rather than in the confined stage space of earlier frescoes. The architecture is depicted in one-point perspective, with the lines converging onto Christ's head.


(Click for larger view)

Ghiberti - Bronze Doors

Artist's Name: Lorenzo Ghiberti
Piece Name: bronze doors
Date: ca. 1450
Period: Italian Renaissance
Material: Bronze
Purpose: Baptistery doors, Florence Cathedral

After beating Brunelleschi in a competition for the commission, Ghiberti began the bronze doors for the Florence Cathedral baptistery in 1425. Ghiberti was greatly influenced by Greco-Roman statuary and he was trained in both painting and gold-working. His pieces incorporate spatial illusion and cohesive narrative into a stylistically and technically impressive set of 10 panels depicting scenes from the Old Testament. Ghiberti's appreciation for the human figure and interest in the working of the muscular and skeletal systems are apparent in his forms.


(Click for larger view)

Limbourg Brothers - The Book of Hours

Artist's Name: Limbourg Brothers
Piece Name: The Book of Hours
Date: ca. 1400
Period: Northern Renaissance
Material: Ink on vellum
Purpose: Illuminated Manuscript

A Book of Hours was used for reciting prayers and contained liturgical passages intended for private study. It also gathered together a calendar of local religious holidays, penitential psalms, litanies to the saints and devotional prayers. The calendar pages of the Limbourg Book of Hours (fully titled The Very Sumptuous Hours of the Duke of Berry) are some of the most famous in the history of manuscript illumination. Alternating scenes of nobility with scenes of peasant life, the pictures are vividly colored (blue pigment was rare and very expensive at the time) and richly detailed. Above each scene is a lunette depicting the sun as a chariot traveling through the 12 months and zodiac signs. The inclusion of the Duke of Berry, who commissioned the piece, among the figures in some of the scenes showed him as a pious, powerful and magnanimous leader, as well as a sophisticated art patron.






(Click each for larger view)

Van Eyck - Ghent Altarpiece (closed)

Artist's Name: Jan van Eyck
Piece Name: Ghent Altarpiece (closed)
Date: ca. 1400
Period: Northern Renaissance
Material: Oil on wood
Purpose: Liturgical centerpiece, Saint Bavo Cathedral

Jan van Eyck's Ghent Altarpiece is one of the largest and most renowned Flemish altarpieces of the 15th century. The piece was commissioned by the burgomeister (chief magistrate) of Ghent, Jodocus Vyd, and he and his wife, Isabel Borluut, can be seen in the lower left and right hand panels. Between them are intricately detailed painted statues of Saints John the Baptist and John the Evangelist, Ghent's patron saints. In the upper register of the piece is an Annunciation scene which uses many of the symbols common to Christian tradition and also boasts a careful rendition of a Flemish town. In the arched portions of the panels appear Old Testament prophets Zachary and Micah and two sibyls, classical mythological prophetesses whose writings the Christian Church interpreted as prophecies of Christ.


(Click to view larger)

Giotto - Madonna Enthroned

Artist's Name: Giotto di Bondone
Piece Name: Madonna Enthroned
Date: ca. 1300
Period: Early Renaissance
Material: Tempera on wood

Considered one of the forebears of High Renaissance painting, Giotto's depiction of the Virgin and Child stands as an excellent example of the changes occurring in art at the time. While Giotto still uses many of the obvious symbols of Medieval painting (the main figures are overly large and central, the opaque plate-like halos, the two fingered gesture of the Christ Child), there is a human quality and depth not found in works of the middle ages. The Virgin is draped in thin, delicate material and there is definite assertion to the shape of her body. Greater attention is paid to the detail of her face and the shading around her chin and throat. There are even faint blue lines visible on the back of her hand. Part of the movement of Naturalism was attempting depth through use of linear perspective. While the perspective of the throne is not correct, the intention is clear.


(Click for larger view)

Pisano - Pulpit

Artist's Name: Nicola Pisano
Piece Name: Pulpit of Pisa Cathedral baptistery
Date: 1260
Period: Early Renaissance
Material: Marble
Purpose: For use during sermons, Pisa Cathedral

The pulpit commissioned for the Pisa Cathedral baptistery is impressive for its meshing of styles and influences, specifically French Gothic and Roman Classical. The 13th-century sculpture by Nicola Pisano shows an unmistakable interest in Classical art. The lower portion of the pulpit is made up of Roman-style Corinthian columns. On the center register rest the figures of Prophets and Evangelists separated by Gothic trefoil arches. In the spandrels of the arches are Saints John the Baptist and Michael, the Virtues, and a nude Hercules, probably a reference to the Classical inspiration for the work. The upper register consists of five relief panels depicting scenes from the life of Christ, all done in the style of Roman sculpture. The figures wear clothing typical of Roman fashions.


(Click for larger view)

"I love Jesus but I drink a little..."

This clip from the Ellen DeGeneres show is several days old but I just found it and it's just too good not to share:

Complaint Box

Because I just don't have the heart to complain to bloggers on their sites, I'm going to gripe here.

If you're going to post recipes for ANYTHING, please go through and make sure it makes sense and is accurate. Please don't leave things like "1 1/2 yogurt" in the ingredients list. 1 1/2 what? I'll assume cups. Please don't omit items from the ingredients list and then add them to the instructions. For example, if you do not list salt and baking soda in the ingredients, don't tell me to sift them into the flour. How much? Oh, and don't put things in the ingredients list and then not tell me where to put them into the mix in the instructions.

Ok, well, none of that probably made any sense but I'm frustrated. It's my turn to bring snackies to Fiction Writing tonight. I'm making mini muffins. We'll see how it goes.

OMG(sea)P0NIES!!1!

I adore seahorses. Really. One of my life goals is to have a saltwater tank some day just so I can have a couple seahorses (also possibly an absurdly cool leafy sea dragon). Anyway, the point. NatGeo had an article on the finding of 5 new species of pygmy seahorse.

I mean, look!


Less than half an inch tall, people! TEENSY and adorable! I LOVE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!

Ok, that's all I got.

Art...or, You Know, Astrophysics

I just watched Neil DeGrasse Tyson on the Daily Show. He's awesome. I was also talking to Blake today about Dr. Riban, the Astronomy teacher at DSC, since he (Blake) is taking that class this semester. He (Dr. Riban) is also awesome.

I really enjoyed Astronomy when I took it last semester and if I ever have a chance to I would like to take another class. If I thought I could hack it, I might toy with the idea of switching majors (again). But I can't (hack it), so I won't (switch).

Nobody said I couldn't still love it, though.

Cake?!

I just found out that tomorrow (January 27th) is National Chocolate Cake Day. Kyle's going to hate me but I think I might just have to celebrate this. Maybe I'll try out that recipe for Guiness chocolate cupcakes again. Anyone know a good chocolate frosting recipe?

Yesterday I got in the kitchen to use up some stuff that Mom gave us when she came to visit. She gave us a pound of strawberries that we hadn't even STARTED eating so I cooked them up and made a pretty awesome strawberry jam. It's thick and sweet and a little tangy from the lemon juice I squeezed in.

Once I had jam, I figured we would need something to put it on. So, I made vanilla scones. I love vanilla so I added more than the recipe called for. They're not too sweet and the vanilla still came out pretty subtle but I think they're perfect for jam!

While I was looking up a recipe for vanilla scones, I found a recipe for Cheddar Dill scones. We had a bunch of cheese leftover from when we made macaroni and cheese, so I made scones with emmantalier and gruyere, sage, rosemary, basil and oregano. They are sooooooo good!

Does anyone else find the sexy M&M commercials really creepy?

100th Post!

Here we are at number 100. What have I said in all these posts? Who knows!

When I liveblogged the election, I mentioned that before Obama's acceptance speech, they played a little video thing and used one of my favorite songs, "Fake Empire" by the National. I've been meaning to post that song ever since and just haven't gotten around to it, so here it is, along with some other videos just for fun.

This isn't an official video but rather a fan made one. Ignore it or not, the song is the important part.


Another song by the National - Apartment Story:


One of my favorite Radiohead songs. This is also a fan video but I think it's beautiful and works really well with the song. This is "All I Need":


Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal:


That's all for now. Here's to 100 more.

Complaint Box

I hadn't made soap in over a month, mostly because we were out of town for three weeks and because, after the rush to finish all of my holiday gifts, I was a little soaped out. But today I decided to haul out the ol' bucket and scale and make a "just for me" batch. Good thing the intention was always just for personal use because this went terribly!

I was running low on pretty much everything. I decided to do a mostly olive oil recipe and use up what I had left of coconut oil and palm kernel flakes with just a little bit of sweet almond oil to round it out.

I wrote up my recipe, ran it through a lye calculator and got to work. Right away I could see that things weren't going to go well. I ran short on palm kernel flakes and WAY short on coconut oil. After converting grams to ounces to percentages, I ran a new recipe through my lye calculator and added sunflower oil and a little castor oil to make up for the missing amounts.

I melted my palm kernel flakes and added it to the rest of the liquid oils. Then I realized that I had forgotten to line my molds. Then, while I was lining my molds, I cut the paper wrong and had to improvise, taping on pieces to cover bare corners. When I was finished, I turned back to my oils. The palm kernel flakes had started to solidify, making my oils look rather like egg drop soup. Dammit!

I put my pot of oils on the stove to warm the whole thing and remelt the PKF. Yay, ok, remelted, add lye water, begin to stick blend, OH NO WAIT!!! I forgot to prepare my fragrance and color. I was using a small bit of gold mica leftover from another project so I didn't really need to do that and I added 2 ounces of French Vanilla and Oak fragrance so that and stirred it together. Meanwhile, my raw soap is sitting and waiting, already at a very light trace.

I added the fragrance and color and began to mix but suddenly my very lightly traced batch was well beyond trace and into lumpy, curdled territory. WTF?! Oh, right, French Vanilla and Oak fragrance has VANILLA in it which accelerates trace to about a second and a half. Crap!

Quick, pour everything into the molds!!!

My soap is now in the molds on top of the dryer with a towel over them to keep them warm while they sap. My hands smell strongly of French Vanilla and Oak and will for the rest of the day, and I've got a small but stinging raw soap burn on my wrist. Hopefully, the soap will be at least usable when it's finished curing. We'll know in a month!

Too Late for Yelling

Wherever we end up living after we move away from here, really the only thing I hope for are neighbors that don't frequently stand in the parking lot and SCREAM at each other in the middle of the night.

Who never learned that isn't acceptable behavior? Oh, right, my neighbors.

For Mom

First day of school, Spring '09

Collectible Plates

Karlen: "What is wrong with the world?"
Kyle: "I don't know. Why do people buy collectible plates? I think when you can explain collectible plates, everything else will fall into place."

The Full Moon

On Saturday evening, my mom called me and said "I just left the store and saw the moon and you have to go look at it because it's supposed to be the BIGGEST MOON EVER!" so I said "Like, in the history of the world?!" and she said "YES!?". Anyway, Kyle's dad bought him a pretty cool little telescope for Christmas and we figured it would be a good time to try it out! We tried three different cameras with it (my dSLR, my P&S, and Kyle's cell phone camera) and the ones from the P&S came out the best. I didn't have the proper lens on my dSLR and couldn't get a good zoom and a good focus at the same time. Oh, well. Next time.

Greek Pasta Salad

This recipe is adapted from a Cuisine at Home recipe for Greek Salad with Garlic Croutons. I decided to make it a pasta salad instead of using arugula and made a few other modifications to fit what I like and what I had on hand. This is a great dish to pre-make for snacks or lunches, since it gets better the longer it sits together, and also for taking to dinner parties or potlucks, since it makes A LOT.

To make it vegetarian, I left out the anchovy paste in the dressing from the original recipe so it's really more "fake Greek". This is also one of those recipes that, while there are (approximate, sort of) measurements in the recipe, it is better made "to taste". Add more of what you like or have! Leave out what you don't! Try adding pickled beets or red onion, use red-wine vinegar (or a little balsamic?), or fresh herbs. Make it yours!

Greek Pasta Salad
(adapted from Cuisine at Home)

FOR THE DRESSING:
1 C extra-virgin olive oil
3/4 C white-wine vinegar
2 1/2 Tbs finely chopped shallots
2 Tbs dijon mustard
1 Tbs kalamata olive brine
2 tsp dried oregano
freshly ground pepper & salt to taste

Mix together and set aside. Boil water for pasta.

1 pint grape tomatoes, quartered
1 large cucumber, seeds removed and chopped into bite-size pieces
half of one 8 oz. jar of PITTED kalamata olived, quaretered

(Note: Don't be like me. Make sure you get the pitted olives because standing there for 20 minutes fighting with olive pits isn't fun. And if you end up with the kind with pits, wear protective eye gear while smooshing out the pits).

8 oz crumbled feta

Prepare 1 box of rotini pasta according to directions on package. Rinse with cool water. Add vegetables and feta and slowly begin to pour over dressing, tossing salad gently. Allow to chill in refrigerator for at least an hour.

Modigliani

Kyle stopped by our local used book store the other day and while he was there he picked up this book of Modigliani for me (he said he thought I would like it because it's expressionism and because the woman on the cover has armpit hair. It's nice to have a man who knows what you like).

Anyway, he was right, I love it. And I particularly adore this piece:


I told Kyle I wanted a big print of it and he said "Great, then we can replace the hideous clown!" but, alas for him, my repro Rouault goes nowhere.

Christ-O-Phobes!

Ok, I was trying to sum up why Obama selecting Rick Warren to do the invocation was a piss-poor political move and Rachel Maddow did it for me a couple weeks ago!



If we really HAVE to do an invocation (we don't), there is no reason that it needs to be this jerkwad.

What Will You Get?

I just watched the video for Nine Inch Nails' "Head Like a Hole" and began to ponder this line:

"You're going to get what you deserve."

Now, obviously, I don't think Trent Reznor meant it to be the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" catchphrase of 1989, but the phrase itself has neither positive nor negative connotations. Rather, when left without context or inflection it really has no meaning other than what is given to it by the one to whom it is directed.

Basically, if you were to see the sentence "You're going to get what you deserve" on a billboard while walking down the street, how would you take it? Would you think someone was saying "Hey, keep doing what you're doing. It'll pay off!" or would you see it as something more sinister?

2009

Happy New Year! I know I haven't posted in a while and this won't be a long visit, but I've got lots in store for the coming year. With a couple new baking/cookbooks, a few new soapcrafting books, and several new crochet books, plus a new sewing machine, video games, art history and American history books (and a themed discussion group), and a whole new exciting semester ahead of me (including a creative writing class), I will have much to say. Plus, I have a plan for slow posting times so that there aren't periods of stagnation but we'll talk about that later.

Anyway, at dinner tonight Aunt Jean told us about the "flavor trends" for 2009. Some of the flavors I'm already pretty familiar with but I think I will try to incorporate them more (chimichurri and masala in particular) and try out the ones I don't know. The trends are:

1. Persimmon
2. Lavender
3. Cactus
4. Starfruit
5. Chimichurri
6. Masala
7. Peri-peri

I already have Aleppo peppers on a list of things to try and between that, the Peri-peri and the Masala, I guess we'll be having lots of spicy foods!

Some of my family and I have decided that 2009 will be American History Year and that we will all read books on that general topic and discuss them through our email group. My first book is San Francisco is Burning: The Untold Story of the 1906 Earthquake and Fires by Dennis Smith.

The Ocean is Scary

If, like me, you love things that are awesome and terrifying, go here immediately and watch the video of the Magnapinna squid. The chilling stare of the creature and wildly thrashing camera help with the fear! Yay!

Bush, Redux

Speaking of, I forgot to link this amazing collection of photos of President Broseph from Shakesville. It features patriotism-inspiring images of The World's Most Powerful Fratboy, such as this gem:


You know, in case you didn't have enough Fury Fuel already!

Bush

I'm really glad this is what our President has been doing with his time.

No, seriously. I wish he had spent more time over the past eight years making iMovie videos about his adorable pets and less time, you know, breaking the country.
(From Scanner)

Staring Back at Me

I had to go into school at 10:30 this morning to turn in my art history take home final and I don't have my next final until 1 so I came to Barnes & Noble to have a coffee and study for a while. But then I noticed this and I could not un-notice it, so here I am, not studying and complaining about inequality.

You know those big murals they have in the Barnes & Noble cafes? The ones with all the authors sitting around having coffee together like they were sociable people? Yeah, I was looking at that and first I thought "Hm, why did they make Hemingway look so handsome? Isn't his head really fat and square shaped?" and then I noticed something else: There are fourteen authors on the wall - Hemingway, Orwell, Nabokov, Joyce, Singer, Kafka, Neruda, Hughes, Tagore, Hurston, Woolf, Chandler, Lawrence, and Sandburg.

While I appreciate the inclusion of non-white and non-American/European people (Neruda, Hughes, Tagore), could we REALLY not think of more than TWO influential women writers? Really? I mean, we could even have non-white, non-American/European women! Just off the top of my head, Murasaki Shikibu or Laura Esquivel? Doris Lessing is British but she just won a Nobel Prize. Surely that makes her worthy of a B&N mural likeness? (Ok, I'm sure this mural was done before she won the Nobel Prize. Whatever).

I guess since none of them wrote giant tomes of masturbatory whining and unintelligible stream-of-stupid-ass-consciousness (I'm looking at you, Joyce and Kafka), they probably don't qualify as The Greatest Writers Ever. At least they didn't put Proust up there........effing Proust.....

I'm going to commit a grievous act of vandalism and paint over five of these dudes with awesome women writers (50/50's fair enough). Any suggestions on who to put up?

Please. Just. Stop

I'm really can't come up with two people that I think are bigger raging dickheads than Bill O'Reilly and Karl Rove.

Similarly look, and I don’t want to diminish the challenges we face, particularly when it comes to unemployment.

Um...yes, you do. It's kind of obvious that you really really do.

But the unemployment rate today was at certain times during Clinton and in most of Carter['s] time in office higher. And, yet, we don’t see the similar scare tactics and the similar phrases and words out of the national media about these Democrats as we hear about the current situation.

THIS IS NOT A PARTISAN ISSUE, YOU PUTRESCENT BAG OF FETID DOG FARTS! No one is saying that Obama is going to come into office and IMMEDIATELY everything is going to be fixed (except for you). In fact, it's pretty much the exact opposite of what everyone is saying. But when you start saying shit like "So these are not going to have an immediate impact. And let’s see how tough they treat him on this and how much they hold him up to scrutiny," then it makes people think that Very Important People in the Media think that it SHOULD be immediate (although how you ever got to be a Very Important Person, I will never understand). But that is a completely irrational supposition because, I don't care WHO'S in the White House, there IS NO immediate fix. But you know that, don't you? You're not a COMPLETE idiot, although sometimes one really has to wonder...

Please, for the good of the country you claim to love soooooo much, stop fear-mongering, stop trying to incite mistrust, stop trying to cause bad faith, just. stop. talking. Now.

[Via Shakesville]

Tres Dramatique!

While researching my paper on Giotto and the Arena Chapel Frescoes, I got COMPLETELY sidetracked by a bunch of other articles on later Renaissance art. One of Leonardo Da Vinci's paintings that I particularly like is the Virgin of the Rocks, probably because I think Baby Jesus and Baby John the Baptist are chubby and adorable in that Renaissance holy fat baby way (no one bothered to study the CORRECT proportions for babies and small children until much later).


Anyway, as some of you may recall, Dan Brown used this piece in the Da Vinci Code and made some pretty "far-fetched" claims about the symbolism used in it. For example, he purports that the Archangel Uriel, on the right, is making a throat slashing motion with his pointing finger. Brown says that this and other sly allusions placed in the painting by cheeky ol' Leo caused the Church to reject it, leading to the second rendition of Virgin of the Rocks (which I personally find not as attractive as its predecessor).

[I'm getting to the point soon, I swear.]

So, APPARENTLY, the Louvre had a WEENSY issue with Dan Brown and his artistic license:

The spectacular Grande Galerie in the Louvre plays an important role in the novel The Da Vinci Code, providing the setting for the beginning of the story. Far more remarkable than the parquet flooring with its chevron patterns mentioned in the book is the collection of Italian paintings. Four of the five paintings by Leonardo da Vinci in the Louvre are on display here. The Da Vinci Code analyzes The Virgin of the Rocks (which Sophie Neveu removes from the wall) in a new and subversive way. It suggests that Mary holds in her left hand the invisible head of Mary Magdalene, whose neck is being symbolically sliced by the gesture of the Archangel Uriel on the right. Leonardo was thus supposedly showing the Church’s conspiracy against Christ’s companion during the early centuries. This far-fetched interpretation of the painting might have been inspired by the work of Bernardino Luini just to the left: Salome Receiving the Head of Saint John the Baptist. In reality, Mary’s mysterious gesture relates to traditional religious iconography: Mary is the mother of Jesus, but she is also the incarnation of the Church, the “house.” In the painting, therefore, she seems to be covering the head of her Son with her left hand, as if with a roof. The Da Vinci Code thus transformed a gesture of protection into a metaphorical representation of murder. This powerful literary effect is a travesty of art history.

[Emphasis mine]

A TRAVESTY! For shame, Mr. Brown. For shame.

Destroying the Fabric of Democracy

ACORN (obviously)
Feminists
Atheists
Pinkos
Vegetarians
Pregnant Black Women
The LGBTQI Community At Large
"Communists, Catholics, and Colored People"
Liberals
Immigrants (Specifically those of Latin@ descent, regardless of citizenship)
Fat People
Academics

This list is in no particular order and is definitely incomplete. It will (possibly) be updated at a later date. Any thoughts on who to add?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I know there's only 9 minutes left in the day but I just wanted to hop on here and say I hope everyone had a nice relaxing holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving, love to all.

Dome of the Rock

Dome of the Rock
ca. 500-1500 CE
Islamic
Mosque
--The Dome of the Rock is a domed octagon resembling San Vitale in Ravenna in basic design. The exterior is covered in vivid, colorful patterned mosaic and sharply contrasts with the Byzantine brickwork and Greco-Roman sculptured profiling and carved decoration. The interior is also highly decorated with mosaics. The Dome of the Rock was erected by the Umayyad caliph Abd al-Malik and houses the rock from which Muslims believe Muhammad ascended to Heaven.

Click for larger images.

(Dome of the Rock)


(Exterior windows)


(Definitely click on this one to see the beautiful tiling and Arabesque script. The colors are really fantastic. Big file, though.)

Christ the Judge

Ed. Note: I had a really hard time finding this piece because it is not in my book (I don't have the $200 newest edition) and because my prof gave us THE WRONG NAME for it. It took me almost two hours of searching (not all at once, of course) to figure out that the correct name is "Christ Pantocrator". Luckily, I had seen the piece in class so I knew which one he was asking for because otherwise, I would have had no idea what to do.

Christ the Judge (Christ Pantocrator)
ca. 1100 CE
Byzantine
Mosaic
--Christ the Judge illustrates the shift in how the Church was portrayed in the middle to late Byzantine period. He is depicted much older than previously, wearing a beard and dour expression. He carries "the Book" and has one finger partially raised, perhaps preparing to point to one's fate. In the later Byzantine period, the Christian Church was becoming quite politicized and instead of a police force to keep subjects in line, used propagandist images to invoke fear and guilt in the viewer.


(Christ Pantocrator, Daphni, Greece)

Maybe A Little Petty

There is a part of me that kind of enjoys seeing pictures of my ex-boyfriends and getting to think, "Wow, you really just didn't age well."

I am not ashamed of this.

Justinian Mosaic

Justinian Mosaic
ca. 500 CE
Byzantine
--In Ravenna, Italy, on the western end of the Byzantine Empire, Justinian commissioned San Vitale, an impressive Christian church with a "Greek Cross" floor plan. The inside walls of San Vitale are highly decorated and on the north wall of the apse is the Justinian Mosaic. At the center of the mosaic is Justinian shown priest-king, haloed and garbed in purple and gold, carrying a paten or a large golden bowl containing the bread for the Sacrament. Closest to Justinian on the right is the Bishop Maximianus and indeed his is the only name that appears in the Mosaic. His importance is labeled also by the golden robe and scarf bearing the cross. Maximianus and the other clergymen are identified also by the items they carry: a cross, a book, and a thurible. To the left of the Emperor are several soldiers, denoted by their lances and by the shield one of them carries which bears the Greek Letters X and P, or chi-ro, a monogram for Christ. To show perspective in this piece, the mosaicist uses a simple method of overlapping: every man's foot overlaps the foot of his inferior, putting Justinian and Maximianus in front and all other figures behind them.

Click to view larger images.

(Justinian Mosaic)


(Detail of face of Justinian)

Hagia Sophia

Hagia Sophia
ca. 500 CE
Byzantine
--Built in Constantinople for the emperor Justinian, Hagia Sophia (the church of Holy Wisdom) was the largest building in Byzantium and remains the largest dome of the ancient world. It is a marvel of Byzantine architecture - the dome is one hundred eight feet in diameter and its crown rises some one hundred eighty feet above pavement. One of the most impressive aspects of the dome is that it is circle at the base by forty windows which allow great amounts of light into the building and cause the dome to appear to be floating on a halo of sunshine. The structural devices that make this feat possible are hallmarks of Byzantine engineering. One of these is the pendentive, which is essentially a larger, flatter dome one which the primary dome rests, and transfers weight to the piers beneath, rather than to the walls.

Click to view larger images:

(Exterior: Hagia Sophia)


(Interior: Hagia Sophia)


(Hagia Sophia dome detail)

Christ as the Good Shepherd

Christ as the Good Shepherd from the Mausoleum of Galla Placidia
ca. 400 CE
Italian
Tile
Decorative Mosaic
--Christ as the Good Shepherd is the subject of the lunette above the entrance to the Mausoleum of Galla Placidia in Ravenna, Italy. This piece depicts Christ as a young man, beardless (symbolizing innocence), haloed (piety) and dressed in purple and gold (regality), sitting among his flock instead of carrying a lamb on his shoulder as in earlier depictions. The loose, informal arrangement of the figures and easy posture of Christ reflect the early Christian perspective of the Church as kind and welcoming. The creator of this mosaic was still rooted in the classical tradition, as many Greco-Roman devices for conveying perspective are used.


(Christ as the Good Shepherd)


(Detail of Christ)

The Arch of Constantine

To motivate me to study for my Art History test, I'm going to be writing posts about each of the eight pieces that will be part of the test.

The Arch of Constantine
circa 300 CE
Early Christian
Marble
Monument commemorating Constantine's defeat of Mazentius
--The great triple-passageway arch was erected in Rome between 312 and 315 CE. Much of the sculptural decoration and the columns of the arch were reclaimed from some of the earlier monuments of Trajan, Hadrian, and Marcus Aurelius. The heads of the emperors in these reliefs were re-cut to resemble the new ruler. These reused sculptures were carefully selected to associate Constantine with the "good emperors". In one of the Constantinian reliefs above the arch's lateral passageways, Constantine is shown on the platform in the Roman Forum, flanked on either side by representations of Marcus Aurelius and Hadrian. This recycling of earlier works is often used as evidence of a decline in technical skill and creativity in the latter part of the pagan Roman Empire. However, the friezes of this archway mark a distinctive shift towards the iconic art of the Middle Ages. The art of the Roman Empire was focused on portraying an idealized, perfected version of its subject whereas Early Christian art sought to teach and tell stories in a way that was immediately accessible to all.


(Arch of Constantine)


(Detail of roundel frieze)

The Rhinoceros

From the comments on a Shapely Prose post:

A sporty White Rhinoceros
Was going for a run
When someone shouted “You’re too fat!
You ought to lose a ton!
You’re eating too much leaves and bark!
And what about your joints?”
The Rhino answered forcefully
With two well-argued points.

If you see a Rhinoceros
That thunders ‘cross the plain
In perissodactylic glee
Perhaps you should refrain
From commenting upon its weight;
In light of this example -
The heavier a Rhino is
The harder it can trample.
~MissPrism

I Always Thought That Was The Point...

Kyle - "If you do a stupid thing once, you just did something stupid. If you do it a bunch of times, apparently it's not stupid anymore, it's 'tradition'."

My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen, is not a sentimental man.

It Finally Got Me

As thrilled as I am about Obama's election, it hadn't truly hit me until I watched this video of Maya Angelou's reaction. And then I got all teary eyed at the end.

Liveblogging the 2008 Presidential Election

Tiffany is without television or internet so I'm sending her text updates on the election. I'll post them here as well and call it liveblogging! I watched an AP map online as well as watching the news channels and the news channels called things WAY earlier than AP but since I didn't want to jump the gun I went with the AP results as they were called.

8:11pm - KY, OK, TN, and SC are called for McCain. VT, ME, MA, CT, IL, NJ, DE, MD, DC for Obama.

8:13pm - 78 Obama to 34 McCain in electoral votes.

8:22pm - 60% in FL so far support gay marriage ban with 22% of the vote in. Way to fail, Florida. But Pinellas went blue so that makes me feel a little better...I guess.

9:02pm - PA goes to Obama so it's 103 to 34 now. And they're getting ready to call RI for Obama which will be another 4.

9:10pm - MN, WI, MI, NY, and RI for Obama. WY for McCain. 175 to 46.

9:24pm - AR and AL for McCain. Not surprising. 175 to 52 in Obama's favor. He only needs 95 more!

9:31pm - ND for McCain. 175 to 55. This is taking FOREVER!

9:44pm - LA for McCain. OH for Obama. 195 to 70.

10:03pm - It's pretty much over. Barack Obama is President-elect of the United States of America!

AP is really slow at updating and everything else I'm keeping up with has it pretty much called for Obama. I stopped texting Tiffany at this point but kept tallying for the funsies.

10:09pm - UT to McCain. 202 to 80.

10:12pm - TCF (Token Conservative Friend) Roswell is trying to tell me that McCain has conceded and they're reporting it on DC political talk radio. Eh...I don't know about that.

10:26pm - TX and WV to McCain, OBVIOUSLY! 202 to 114 Obama. Woot!

10:42pm - NM for Obama and at some point IA and KS but I missed them. 207 to 114.

10:49pm - AP calls VA for Obama! 220 to 114!

10:54pm - MS to McCain. 220/120.

11:00pm - ID for McCain. Everybody's calling it. CA, OR, WA, HI, AND FL FOR OBAMA! Barack Obama is President!!! YAY!!!!! Florida goes blue?! AMAZING!!! 324 electoral votes for Obama to 124 for John McCain.

11:18pm - McCain's concession speech. He mentions Obama AND PEOPLE START BOOING?! Mature, guys. Real mature. The speech is, um...vaguely racist?

11:22pm - CO and NV for Obama. SD for McCain. 338/127.

11:31pm - OMG, OPRAH AT GRANT PARK! They showed her in the crowd...just sayin'.

11:34pm - They didn't NEED to open the speech with a (Christian, naturally) prayer...just sayin'.

11:37pm - Moustache guy needs to get on with it. YOU DON'T NEED TO PREFACE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE!

11:39pm - Slightly tone deaf woman singing the Star-Spangled Banner has a nice coat?

11:41pm - HOLY CRAP THEY'RE PLAYING FAKE EMPIRE BY THE NATIONAL WHICH IS MY MOST FAVORITE SONG EVER for this video opening the Obama speech that I can't actually see or hear except for the music. But seriously, guys? Pretty much the greatest song ever.

11:49pm - Talking to Tim on iChat: "GET OUT THE CHAMPAGNE, DOUSE IT WITH WHISKEY!"

11:53pm - Kyle: "We won, baby!" Karlen: "Yeah, I get to keep my human rights and shit!" (Note: One of my biggest fears about a McCain Presidency is that two, possibly three seats are going to be opening up on the Supreme Court during this term and I think they're all liberal seats. If McCain nabbed them for the conservatives, I'm pretty sure life would basically become The Handmaid's Tale in days).

11:56pm - NE and AZ for McCain. 338/139.

11:58pm - The Obama's enter the stage. I LOVE his family! They're so beautiful!

12:01am - Obama mentions McCain. Crowd cheers. Genuine class. Obviously, it's easier to be gracious when you KICKED THE OTHER GUY'S ASS but, you know, I'm just saying...

12:08am - From Pundit Kitchen:


12:10am - I love listening to this man speak. Some of the faces of the people in this crowd are making me misty eyed. This is really wonderful.

12:15am - YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!!! I don't think I've ever been more proud of my country. HERE COMES BIDEN! YAY! I really like that Obama and Biden seems to genuinely LIKE each other. I expect great things from this. Please, don't let me down guys.

12:20am - As much as I would like for this to continue all night, I have to be up at 7am so it's off to bed for me! Good night, everybody, and remember - Under a Barack Obama Presidency, you, too, can have a little of that audacious hope.

G-Strings*

Alright, for my consideration more than yours, I have here three different versions of the same piece of music, which is the Prelude from Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007.

Now, first of all, apparently Mstislav Rostropovich died in April of last year AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME UNTIL LAST WEEK! WTF, guys? Here's his version:

(The youtube video I wanted to use was disabled so I had to find a different one so you have to wait through 23 seconds of introduction I'M SORRY).
While technically perfect, one of the tiny issues I've had with Rostropovich is that sometimes he plays these pieces as if he's brushing his teeth, which is to say, like he's so used to doing it that it requires no thought and he's just sort of going through the motions. "The Prelude, again?" he thinks, although in Russian. "Always the Prelude, everyone wants the Prelude." Also, would you like to slow down there Captain Flash Fingers? I'm kidding, Rostropovich, I love you and I'm sorry you're dead and I didn't know.

Then there is Mischa Maisky, who I have a weird fondness for, perhaps because his name is so enjoyable to say and not nearly as cumbersome as "Mstislav Rostropovich":

Now, I'm going to assume you heard the wild squawk in there at 1:12 and it totally harshed your mellow. However, I am willing to ignore this because Maisky's version has so much more feeling. Look at his expression. That man is totally concerned with doing right by the hourglass figure between his knees!

Ok, ok, I GUESS I'll throw in Yo-Yo Ma since everybody loves him so much:

Whoever made this video decided it would be way more awesome to intersperse far away shots of Ma playing in parking garages (?) with stills of children running around (??) than it would be to, you know, watch him perform the piece. Also, what's with the random inflection, Ma? I'm sure he's being hesitant for effect but there's sort of a flow to this piece and he is so not going with it.

I'm not going to post Pablo Casal's version because you have to wade through, like, seven minutes of black and white French blah blah blah to get to it and, um, it's not big on being worth it.

*Did you think I meant panties? Ha, oh, you silly thing.

Weighty Matters

From Shapely Prose, this article from the NY Times:

Several studies suggest that if the aim is getting healthier rather than slimmer, then in the long run the “Health at Every Size” approach works better than dieting. In 2005, Bacon led the only randomized control trial to date that tested this hypothesis physiologically. She randomly assigned half of the 78 subjects, all women, to a “Health at Every Size” group; while they lost no weight, their healthier behavior led to lower blood-pressure and cholesterol levels, which stayed low even two years later. In the weight-loss group, more than 40 percent dropped out before the six-month low-calorie diet ended, and at the two-year follow-up, the average dieter had regained all her lost weight, and the only measurement that dropped was one for self-esteem.

Go read the rest and consider who would actually be losing out if we all stopped trying to force our bodies into the literally narrowest of ideals.