Monday, May 18, 2009

Zombie Apocalypse

Five items I would want to have if I survived the Zombie Apocalypse:

1) A ball-peen hammer. Hammers are great close-range weapons. During a zombie attack, you don't want to only have a gun because it makes too much noise and would only serve to attract more zombies. Also, if I was being attacked by zombies I would not trust myself with a firearm, so I'll leave that to others with more gun experience. Claw hammers may get stuck in necrotic flesh, so the ball-peen is really the way to go. Kyle will have his rifle for emergency situations and a FUBAR (no, that's really what it's called) so I think between the two of us, we'll be able to handle at least a few of the undead horde.

2) My Doc Marten steel-toed boots. I actually decided I wanted a pair of these not long after I read The Zombie Survival Guide and received a pair from my Aunt Anne for Christmas of 2007. Not only are they awesome and stylish, they're also good for running from flesh-eaters, water resistant, and the steel-toes make them durable and protective. Your feet will be very important after the zombie apocalypse. Invest in excellent shoes. Note: I feel that everyone, especially my mother, should adopt this as a life motto and then apply it every time a fantastic pair of Skechers or Rocket Dogs pops out at her.

3) A size H crochet hook. This probably needs some explanation. While trying to come up with my personal five items, I tried to think of items I could use to really contribute to life after civilization. With a crochet hook, I can recycle pretty much any textile into clothes, blankets, socks, passable ropes, etc. A size H hook is a great all-purpose hook and my personal size H is the only hook I have that has a squishy thumb rest addition so I can use it for much longer periods of time because it's so comfy!

4) Duct tape. I hear it's very useful. I have a roll that I bought when my glove compartment fell off and I tried to duct tape it back on (which didn't actually work - way to not live up to it, duct tape) but I HEAR it's very useful so I would bring that roll.

5) My emergency backpack. I don't know if this is cheating since it contains WAY more than 5 items but it is something I keep available at all times so I'm going to count it because, um, what's a bigger emergency than the dead rising to destroy us all? I have an old backpack that contains items such as:
-adhesive bandages and Neosporin
-vitamins, antacids, Dramamine, ibuprofen, Imodium, No-Doze, and breath mints (they were just there)
-travel toothbrush and toothpaste
-a few bars of hotel soap

...and that's just the things I can recall at the moment. Obviously, a backpack would also be good for carrying other things but doesn't that sound like a pretty good kit? Also, this is basically a list of things I carried in my purse in high school because I've been becoming my mother since I hit puberty. Preparedness!

And that's my list. I'm assuming there will be lots of other survivors whose lists include USEFUL things like canned foods or water (or those water cleaning tablets) or matches, lighters, sticks and flint rocks, fire blankets and tarps, containers of gasoline, pocket knives, toilet paper, etc. Maybe I can barter with my lovely crocheted socks and my antacids. We'll make it, guys.

1 comment:

Margie said...

I want to be on your team during the uprising. I'm doing my part as best I can. What sort of undead could compete with a sassy pair of red strappy little Doc Martens?? Who knew there was such a thing?? - I did, and I have them!!!!! Wail on you rotting cry babies!!! I also have gum!!!