Burnt Pages

Not the Only One...

2011-09-06T18:15:00.000-04:00

I just received a package from Amazon.com that contained: two Neon Genesis Evangelion DVDs (the new movies), one copy of Guy Debord's Society of the Spectacle, and one copy of Ottaviani & Myrick's graphic novel biography of Richard Feynman.The person who packed this order must have looked at these things and thought, "...What a dork." I can only assume that s/he then thought, "Awesome."

A Brief Rant About Rolling With A Spare Tire -OR- How I (Still Haven't) Learned to Love My Body.

2011-08-11T00:36:00.000-04:00

I very rarely weigh myself. The last time before last week that I stepped on a scale was at my aunt's house in D.C. in early May. She just had the scale laying right out there and I couldn't resist, which is exactly why I do not own a scale. So then last week I was sitting at my desk as I do all day every day and I decided that my shorts felt tight and I should just give up on that top button. Which then made me wonder why my generally well fitting (if a tad short) shorts felt tight. So I weighed myself on the scale in my parents' bathroom (which lives way back under the counter and looked a bit dusty, likely from lack of use). I had gained 10 pounds since May, probably due to my rather lackadaisical attitude toward both strenuous physical activity (it's haaaard)and conscientious food consumption (sandwiches are gooooood). My first reaction was "huh...oh well" but over the course of the afternoon it continually popped up on the tracks of my train of thought. So I texted my boyfriend to complain.

K: "I've gained ten pounds since graduation."
M: "What does that mean?"

I gave him the acceptable educated-socially-conscious-liberal-feminist responses.

K: "Mainly it means that my clothes are fitting more tightly. Also, that I have probably been eating too many brown foods and not enough green foods. Also, I need to be mindful not to lead a sedentary lifestyle."

He acknowledged my polite reasons and gave the appropriate response one gives when trapped into a conversation about someone else's weight.

M: "Yeah, I should eat more green foods and not be sedentary, too. We'll do it together!"

And then we switched subjects because he knows how to field my insecurities with great aplomb and I wasn't about to start harping on my weight because I KNOW it's a silly thing to harp about so why was I harping internally?

So I started thinking more about his question - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? And I think I know what the real answer is, and it is ugly:

It means that I have been inured in the belief that to be fat is a moral shortcoming, and that to be fat is to be less pretty, which is to say have less worth as a human being. Now, I am cognizant of the fact that I have been raised in a society that is severely damaged, wherein the majority of what we are taught is predicated on whether or not we can be sold something afterward, and that this damaged society hates women...and fat people...and men, for that matter (until, of course, we've dropped enough money into "fixing" what's wrong with us and by "enough money" I mean "all of the money" and then we will be told that it's just not enough). However, this knowledge only helps me freak out MARGINALLY less when I discover that I've gained ten pounds. I am still convinced that at least some of my public worth as well as my self-worth is inversely related to the number on the scale.

I am gripped by these insecurities infrequently. Generally speaking, I am well aware of my good fortune and good genetics, I am unconcerned with an exact pound measurement, I am healthy and capable, and I know at least a couple people who would affix the label "hot" to me (specifically myself and my squeeze but, c'mon, there's GOTTA be someone else among the 6.5 billion out there by whom I would be considered a sexy mama). But it's weird when these self-denigrating thoughts slither into my empowered woman psyche. They did not come from me, and I do not accept them being there, but I have yet to outfox them before they assault me like thought-slugs on the leafy green Hostas of my brain. I doubt I ever will learn. But at least I know why.

A Confession and Then Some Complaining

2011-08-03T17:07:00.000-04:00

Here's a confession: I don't know the multiplication table. I never learned. I am practiced enough that I can add very quickly in my head, but if you ask me "what's 7 times 4?" I have to add 7 four times to get 28. Or I have to break it down into smaller multiplication problems. Like, 5 times 9 - I know 5 times 4 is 20, so do that twice and you have 40, plus 5 is 45. No, taking 5x10 =50-5 =45 does not occur to me. It's complicated, it's time consuming, it's depressing. It never mattered before because somehow I always managed to fake it, but now I'm studying for the GRE where I have to do something like one math problem per minute, plus I have to be able to factor which is exceedingly difficult for me since I take this ridiculously roundabout way to multiply forward and it's impossible to apply it backward. So I'm panicking.

I'm going to blame the public school system. See, I excel at reading and writing. In grade school, teachers would see how well I did on spelling tests and just assume I was "smart". I am smart. Being smart in general doesn't take into account strong subjects and weak subjects, and neither did my teachers when they were giving me lessons. It's not their fault; they had 30 other 9-year-olds to contend with. I was good at faking what I knew. I am, still. So when it came time for testing, I would do my crazy multiplication pidgin and get away with it. What happened is that I slipped through the cracks. I didn't have the aptitude to actually learn this lesson the way it was taught, but I was never so obviously unable to grasp it that I got extra help. This is the story with a lot of children, the kids that are doing "just fine".

In a perfect world, there would be a way to implement a strategy like what the GRE calls a Computer-Adaptive Test into our everyday school system. Basically, the test starts out with easy questions and then adjusts the difficulty level based on how well one answered the last question. If you do well, you get harder questions and if you make a mistake, you get easier questions until the difficulty level is averaged out on an individual basis. I have no idea how we could use a system like this (maybe grouping students by skill level rather than by year?) but it would be awesome if we could.

So here I am taking the time when I should be drilling my multiplication tables to talk about the fact that I'm going to have to drill my multiplication tables. Because this is where my strong points are. And factoring is for chumps, anyway.

The Stuck in Traffic Mix, Volume 1-6

2011-07-26T19:08:00.003-04:00

While I was commuting to and from campus, my friend Patrick was working as a process server. Both of us subsequently were spending hours in our cars alone every week. It came up one evening over craft beers that Patrick had not much to listen on these longs drives other than aggressive metal and I thought that probably wasn't good for his blood pressure to be fuming at traffic while the constant machine gun report of a double-bass pedal slammed his ear drums. I set about to make a mix cd for us both, one with lively but non-heart-rate-raising tunes that would make sitting back and even relaxing while sitting in traffic a possibility. It turned into a four-month, six-disc project as I whittled down the *mumble*teen-thousand mp3s in my collection to a shining 101 tracks spanning myriad musical genres. It's complete now, and here is the track list, mostly so Patrick can see what the Sam Hill he's listening to! Also this post will be pretty long and take up the majority of my front page, since Blogger still doesn't have cut tags. LOL, oh Blogger.

*Dear Patrick,
Hi. You're reading this to see what the Sam Hill you're listening to. That's fine for Volumes 1-5. For number 6...I got confused and burned you the wrong line-up. I don't remember in what order the tracks are, but they're all the same as the V.6 line-up I'm posting here. The one you got is probably shitty (there's no FLOW)...or you can think of it as your own special mix! Yeah! Anyway, I can help you IRL if you need further info on any of those. YOU'RE WELCOME.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuck in Traffic

Volume 1
01. Nina Simone - Feeling Good
02. Al Green - Are you Lonely for Me, Baby?
03. Esperanza Spalding - Precious
04. G. Love & Special Sauce - Willow Tree
05. Toro Y Moi - Blessa
06. The Octopus Project - Loud Murmuring
07. The Walkmen - Wake Up
08. Papercuts - Future Primitive
09. Phantogram - Mouthful of Diamonds
10. Glasser - Apply
11. Portishead - Pedestal
12. Thom Yorke - Harrowdown Hill
13. James Blake - Limit to Your Love
14. Flying Lotus - Tea Leaf Dancers
15. Passion Pit - Swimming in the Flood
16. Zola Jesus - Lightsick
17. J. Tillman - Ribbons of Glass

Volume 2
01. Beach Fossils - Daydream
02. Twin Shadow - At My Heels
03. Amon Tobin - People Like Frank
04. Bjork - Hyperballad
05. Scarlett Johansson - I Don't Want to Grow Up
06. Passion Pit - Cuddle Fuddle
07. Uh Huh Her - Explode
08. Sun Airway - Your Moon
09. Neutral Milk Hotel - Everything Is...
10. The Octopus Project - Queen
11. Electric President - Insomnia
12. Beach Fossils - Golden Age
13. Small Black - Goons
14. Deastro - Tree Frog
15. School of Seven Bells - Windstorm
16. Small Black - Panthers
17. How to Dress Well - Ready for the World

Volume 3
01. Scarling. - Hello London
02. The Strokes - Killing Lies
03. Kid Koala - Fender Bender
04. Blind Melon - Life Ain't So Shitty
05. Tom Waits - Jockey Full of Bourbon
06. John Legend - Stereo
07. Sin Fang - Sing from Dream
08. Emancipator - Soon It Will Be Cold Enough to Build Fires
09. Astronautalis - Some Things Never Change
10. P.O.S. - Savion Glover
11. Q-Tip - Gettin Up
12. Jurassic 5 - What's Golden
13. DANGERDOOM (feat. Cee-Lo) - Bizzy Box
14. Astronautalis - Mr. Blessington's Imperialist Plot
15. Blackalicious - Sky is Falling
16. The Roots - You Got Me (Jill)

Volume 4
01. The Clash - Guns of Brixton
02. Matt Skiba - Good Fucking Bye
03. OK Go - WTF?
04. Bad Religion - Sorrow
05. The Kills - Last Day of Magic
06. The National - Mr. November
07. The Notwist - One with the Freaks
08. Lackthereof - Chest Pass (Your Anchor)
09. Hot Water Music - Bleeder
10. Ramona Falls - I Say Fever
11. Alkaline Trio - Blue in the Face
12. The Raveonettes - Sleepwalking
13. Tapes 'N Tapes - Just Drums
14. Menomena - Gay A
15. The Smashing Pumpkins - Jellybelly
16. Viva Voce - Octavio
17. Menomena - Strongest Man in the World

Volume 5
01. Efterklang - Modern Drift
02. The National - Daughters of the SoHo Riots
03. Bowerbirds - Human Hands
04. Radical Face - Doorways
05. Damien Rice - Delicate
06. Modest Mouse - Talking Shit About A Pretty Sunset
07. New Order - Ceremony
08. Devendra Banhart - This Beard Is for Siobhan
09. Nick Drake - From the Morning
10. Beirut - La Banlieu
11. Woods - Time Fading Lines
12. The Dodos - Men
13. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Over and Over Again (Lost and Found)
14. Horse Feathers - Albina
15. Sin Fang Bous - Sinker Ship
16. Shearwater - Castaways
17. Zoe Keating - Don't Worry

Volume 6
01. The Unicorns - I Don't Wanna Die
02. The Chemical Brothers - Let Forever Be
03. The XX - Islands
04. The Ronettes - Be My Baby
05. Toro Y Moi - Master of None
06. TV on the Radio - Modern Romance
07. Cat Stevens - Can't Keep It In
08. Schneider TM - The Light 3000
09. Eels - Fresh Feeling
10. Dion & the Belmonts - Runaround Sue
11. Patsy Cline - Foolin' Around
12. Royksopp - Remind Me
13. Mike Doughty - I Hear the Bells
14. Fats Domino - Ain't That A Shame
15. Weezer - El Scorcho
16. Sean Lennon - Home
17. Space Needle - Never Lonely Alone.

And that's it! Hooray!

Return to the Burn

2011-07-26T17:56:00.000-04:00

It has been over a year and a half since I last updated this here ol' blog. I had some things to do: mental housekeeping in more private places, exploring other interests. I finished school, traveled a lot, started seeing someone new, got a real big-girl job, drew new friends in close and old friends in closer. I'm on a regular Monday-Friday schedule now with set hours and everything! I'm working from home and have a lot of downtime as long as I am tethered to my computer. As such, I intend to write more about the music, movies, blogs, books, television, food, and art that I like. Not really a new direction since that's really all I ever did with this blog to begin with, but a new attempt at more regular posts. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE HEARD THAT BEFORE? Let us begin...

Random Inspiration (Ringing in My Ear) by Adem

2010-01-06T23:19:00.003-05:00

Though I owe you,
I owe you no allegiance
But I still feel guilty for the things that I have done
These past fifteen days

Oh, it was easy
To just let it happen
I've been with people who sing gorgeous songs
While you're just ringing in my ear

And filling with envy
Who will you turn to now?
It was your decision I won't hear you
with hating and screaming still ringing in my ear

You threw me away
Away to the jackals
But the jackals they showed me a good time
While you're just ringing in my ear

I toasted marshmallows
While you burned our bridges down
And I looked at landscapes that I had forgotten
Lit up by the fire

And filling with envy
Who will you turn to now?
It was your decision I won't hear you
With hating and screaming still ringing in my ear

It's a sunny September
The colours are bright here
And the birds sing of beautiful places
While you are just ringing in my ear

New Weather

2009-11-09T12:31:00.001-05:00

Today I had the opportunity to see the current exhibition at the USF CAM, entitled New Weather and featuring works by Diana Al-Hadid, Iva Gueorguieva, and Robyn O'Neil. I really enjoyed this show, particularly the works by Robyn O'Neil. Her works are predominantly large scale graphite on paper drawings and I was really intrigued by her technique of layering and working such a common medium to achieve such unusual effects. Even her small pieces are visually intriguing and emotionally evocative. There is very delicate line and eraser work involved that must be seen in person to fully appreciate.

Diana Al-Hadid's sculptures took me a little longer to respond to. Her sculpture Edge of Critical Density at first looked to me like it was comprised of the sausage casings my father uses during the holidays (if you're unaware, sausage casings are made from pig intestines). Upon further inspection I began to see other forms take shape until it looked more like a swirling ballgown. I liked it much better after that.

Iva Gueorguieva's huge abstract paintings are quite beautiful. I reacted to them less emotionally than the works by the other artists but I think I spent the most time examinging them. Looking at her pieces brought up a question that I've asked myself numberous times before: when I am seeing an object or idea in an abstract piece, does it say more about my own psychology or the artist's? My instructor, Ms. Baron-Robbins, buffered this with an example from her own experience. In an abstract piece, she used what she perceived as fingers. However, many viewers responded to these figures as phallic symbols, to the point of her frustration. She reassured me, though, that much of what I was seeing in Ms. Gueorguieva's work was actually what was intended.

Random Inspiration (Clara Bow)

2009-10-31T20:50:00.000-04:00

Pulled out my old costume standby, the 1920's flapper dress. As Tim Gunn would say (WHO IS GOING TO BE SPEAKING AT USF ON THE 4TH, OMG!), "With a dress like this, styling is everything!" So, I looked up some silver screen starlets for makeup tips.

I went with Clara. I just. love. her.

Random Inspiration (Melissa Moss)

2009-10-30T15:47:00.001-04:00

While at the Julie West show in Hollywood, FL, I came across a couple prints by Melissa Moss. We were on our way out the door and I didn't get to stop and examine them closely so I wrote her name down to look her up later. I'm so glad I did! Moss is an Asheville, NC based artist who has studied color psychology and utilizes this theory in her awesome work.

too happy
Acrylic on wood

the party's over
Acrylic on wood

ebb
Acrylic and gouache on wood

I ADORE that last one! I want a large print of that and I think it will probably factor heavily into my inspiration for the mural I'm doing on a friend's wall.

1 Song, 3 Pieces (C+P Project 3)

2009-10-29T15:30:00.000-04:00

For the 3rd major project, the song I will be using is by my favorite cello-rock band, Rasputina. For the initial song => inspiration part of the project, I decided to use another of their songs to get into the right mindset.

AntiqueHighHeelRedDollShoes is the first and from there I also considered the song Gingerbread Coffin. Both of these songs use imagery relating to dolls. I understand why people often find dolls creepy or unsettling but I think that is what I like about them.

I like the dramatic lighting on this one.

Gift Wrapped Doll #37
James Rosenquist
Oil on canvas
1997

I'm a big fan of buying handmade and I love sites like Etsy and ArtFire. This handmade doll reminds me of drawings of medieval plague doctors which are both frightening and fascinating.

Birdman from woods
Ree Gurova for Lime in Moloko
Polymer clay and fabric
2009

My friend Brigitte is the artist behind a line of custom dolls called Zombuki. I really like her pieces.

Eulalia Dia Zombuki
Brigitte Coovert
2009

Julie West Show

2009-10-25T20:35:00.002-04:00

Road tripped with a good friend over to Hollywood, FL, to meet Julie West at her solo show in Pink Ghost's gallery. She does beautiful work. Her colors are well chosen, her shapes and spaces are gentle while remaining definite. It's impressive that a lot of her work which requires a lot of geometrically correct shapes is hand done in acrylic and then mounted on brocade fabrics. It's really quite impressive. And it's all just so creepy-cute! I picked up some cool swag, a signed "chubby" book by the artist and a cool blind box Dunny so I'm happy. Plus I got to spend a lot of time with my friend Brigitte whom I had not seen in ages and who is now making a living as a working artist which is so inspirational I can't even begin to express. I'll post some of Ms. West's stuff later but for now it is goodnight.

Update!
Here are some of West's paintings:

West signed a postcard of this in my chubby book, under the bats with a text bubble coming from the girl. Awesome!

Want

2009-10-16T02:02:00.001-04:00

think-make-think
Clifton Burt

I'm not usually into text art but this one has the right elements. The haiku used, by John Maeda, is inspiring but not cheesy, and the road sign font is engaging without being totally abrasive or illegible, which is usually the case with text art.

In any case, I want a print of this in my face at all times. I think that would be good for me.

Random Inspiration (And Keep Smiling)

2009-09-28T23:42:00.000-04:00

This song came on my mp3 player as I drove home from school one night. There was tons of heat lightning over the bay and it looked pretty amazing. The song, by Rachel's, is called "And Keep Smiling" (which is a really great title) and I like it quite a bit.

(X-posted to C+P Blog)

C+P Assignment 02

2009-09-08T16:03:00.000-04:00

For my first project for Concepts and Practices, I will be creating an object that represents an aspect of my relationship with my family. I have chosen to create a terrarium. Throughout my life, much of my interaction with my family has involved the natural world. We have explored numerous forests and jungles together, and my parents have been avid gardeners for as long as I can remember. I feel that they instilled in me an appreciation for nature that I have carried into my adult life.

The first artist whose work shares a common element with my project is Paula Hayes.

Hayes' terrariums were very inspirational to me when I first started to build terrariums of my own. The organic shapes of her vessels enclosing small, bright plants of numerous varieties from myriad terrains remind us to consider the quieter pieces of the world we may overlook every day. This is part of why I enjoy terrariums as art. While at first glance they may seem like nothing much, on further viewing it is actually quite easy to lose oneself in the intricacies of an ecosystem in miniature.

Another artist that I feel relates to my project is Thomas Doyle.

Doyle makes dioramas, often encased in glass, that are able to evoke strong emotional reaction. While the feelings one gets from Doyle's work are often sinister or foreboding, and my intention is to express nearly the opposite of these emotions, I think it is important for me to explore why Doyle's pieces draw such reactions so that I might better understand how to elicit the desired reaction in my own pieces.

The third artist whose work I found relative to my project is Andrea Zittel.

Much of Zittel's work revolves around compacting large spaces into small spaces, and exploring the ideas of isolation and understanding the physical space one occupies. This is similar to the intention of terrariums, and I find her work conceptually appealing.

(X-posted at C+P Blog)

C+P Assignment 01

2009-09-07T17:30:00.003-04:00

This past week I had the opportunity to view some of the artwork of Anthony Grajirena on display in the Green Room gallery of the Dunedin Brewery. Grajirena's strong suit seems to be creating pieces that are visually simple yet emotionally evocative, and he manages through his illustrations to blend playfulness with a more subtle implication of solemn reflection, perhaps a feeling of being out of place or even a feeling of loneliness. Two of Grajirena's pieces in particular stood out to me:

(X-posted at C+P Blog)

Updates

2009-09-03T15:31:00.001-04:00

Well, it's been a while. I've finally left Daytona and I am now back in SH. I started at USF last week and so far I'm loving it. The days are long but all of my profs are great and I'm quite inspired by the material. I'm taking Drawing I and Concepts & Practices and two lecture classes, Greek and Roman Art and Northern Renaissance.

I'll be keeping a blog for various assignments as part of the curriculum for C&P but I'm planning on cross-posting those entries over here as well so expect to see at least a few entries! I'll try to get back into a more regular schedule but who knows!

Letter Time

2009-07-08T23:03:00.003-04:00

Dear Land O' Lakes dairy product company,

Your supposedly new, easier-to-close zip pouches for sliced cheese are SO easy to close, if by "easy to close" you mean "not at all easy to close and actually quite difficult to close". So, thanks, I guess.

Also? Really past time to update the logo into something not racially insensitive. Come on, people. You can do better.

Keep up the good work on provolone.
Love, Karlen

Happy Birthday, Tiffany!

2009-07-08T21:21:00.003-04:00

Today is my friend Tiffany's 24th birthday. Tiffany and I have been friends since we were twelve years old. We met in geography class in seventh grade. I remember her mouthing off to our teacher, which she was prone to doing, and I thought she was funny. We became fast friends and have been since.

I admire Tiffany. She is tough and smart, she is joyful and creative. She inspires me because she is brave and spontaneous. Life is not always kind and Tiffany has taken her share of lumps, but for as long as I've known her she has met adversity with her middle finger raised and a smile on her face because there's no way in hell she'd let anything get in the way of her good time. She is thoughtful and loving, she's a hard worker and a hard laugher, and she cracks me up on a regular basis.

Our friend Tyler once said to me that Tiffany is a prototype for the next evolution of better humans. She has that effect on people. I am so proud to call her my friend.

Happy birthday, Tiffany.

Happy Belated 4th, Plus 150th Post!

2009-07-07T20:35:00.004-04:00

Happy 4th of July several days late! I've always really loved the 4th. Between the awesome picnic food, the swimming, the fireworks, and the fact that it heralds the coming of my birthday, Independence Day is definitely in my top 3 holidays.

This year I was away from Kyle but I got to be with some of my most favorite people ever and I had a really wonderful time. The fireworks show in downtown SH was particularly good this year and the weather was sunny and dry all day (although Florida heat and humidity can be really uncomfortable). Here is a picture of Tiffany, me, and Jason at the fireworks show. Not pictured are Tim and Merissa, but they were an integral part to the enjoyability of the day.

P.S. This is my 150th post on Burnt Pages! Woo!

Quick Link

2009-07-06T12:17:00.002-04:00

From NPR: Top 10 Reasons Why the BMI is Bogus

Read it, yo, and don't talk to me about the "obesity epidemic" until you get some real facts.

The Gift of Giving

2009-06-23T21:11:00.003-04:00

I finally launched my Artfire store - Celadon Soap & Craft Co. is open for business! Please check it out here.

I was talking to Rachel and she mentioned that she (as a quite good knitter) liked being present when people received things she had made because she liked to see their faces. I totally agree. The expression of excitement or gratitude that someone gets when you give them a gift is always really pleasing, and that pleasure is increased tenfold when they are excited or grateful for something that you created especially for them. I suppose it's a bit selfish, but at the same time it's like feeling happy that you made someone else happy, and there's nothing wrong with that.

On the other hand, there are also times when the face a gift recipient makes is not quite what you had expected, and just as a positive reaction to a handmade gift is way more satisfying, a less-than-positive reaction can make a crafter feel pretty terrible. In the short while that I've been good enough at my crafts to give them as gifts, I've already got "Present Face" more than a couple times.

The first crochet project I ever completed was this truly hideous scarf in a mix of fluffy black mohair and squeaky acrylic maroon worsted weight. It curled. It was uneven. It buckled and had holes from skipped stitches. It was ugly. I didn't even bother to weave in the ends and I presented it to Kyle and told him I made it for him. He ohh'd and ahh'd and said "Cool! Thank you! I'll have to wait for a really cold day to wear it!", to which I responded, "Please don't wear that outside. I was kidding". He was quite relieved. And since I had actually never intended for him to treat it as a special gift, this instance of Present Face was amusing.

But I guess getting an unenthusiastic response to an item is just one of the woes of being a crafter, one of the perils of sharing one's hobby with another. The appreciative reactions are totally worth are worth the risk. That's the gift of giving.

ETA: Also, Rachel sent me this totally awesome Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Twilight mash-up, in which Buffy kicks that lame-o Edward's ass. From the video info:

It's an example of transformative storytelling serving as a pro-feminist visual critique of Edward's character and generally creepy behavior. Seen through Buffy's eyes some of the more patriarchal gender roles and sexist Hollywood tropes embedded in the Twilight saga are exposed in hilarious ways.

I don't know about all of that, but I do agree that (what I hear of) Edward's personality is pretty gross. Also, the video is just funny.

As huge BtVS fans, Rachel and I found this quite entertaining and I think we both need to own this shirt:

Troll Bingo

2009-06-20T01:55:00.006-04:00

Often, in the comments on blogs or on forums and such, there are people that come along and leave ridiculous, offensive, or ignorant comments. These people are called "trolls". Trolls are not people who are genuinely interested in discourse, who politely disagree and seek to exchange ideas with people whose opinions differ from their own. Trolls are the type of people that go to feminist websites and leave comments demanding that the writers of the website get back in the kitchen and make them a sandwich. They are the people that read LGBT blogs and feel it necessary to point out that they personally find homosexuality yucky and heavens forfend they should just NOT read that particular blog. They have to make sure the people for whom the blog is written know that there are people who disapprove of their lives, just in case they weren't quite sure.

The website Feministe occasionally has a "Next Top Troll" contest in which readers (the real ones) vote on the best (worst?) troll comments. It's sort of a way to make light of the cruel and unenlightened things that people go out of their way to say. A "laugh to keep from crying" exercise. I was talking about a few of these to Kyle and I mentioned the Bingo cards that some of the sites I read have created for troll comments. He was interested so I compiled a list of Troll Bingos from around the blogs and since it took me several minutes, I decided I should post it here, too. Can't let all that hard work go to waste! So, next time you're reading the comments at a blog and some a-hole comes along to screw up the dialogue (or you're reading an email from a Token Conservative Friend/Family Member), just whip out your Bingo cards and have a ball!

Intelligent Design

Libertarians

Evolutionary Psychology

White Privilege Deniers

Trans Issues

Homophobics

Anti Fat Acceptance, Part One

Anti Fat Acceptance, Part Two

Anti-Feminism, Part One

Anti-Feminism, Part Two

Anti-Feminism, Part Three

Anti-Feminism, Part Four

Anti-Feminism, Part FIVE

Anti-Choice

Sexual Assault Deniers

Anti-Breastfeeding

Mommy Wars

General Jerk-waddery

Random Thoughts

2009-06-19T21:21:00.002-04:00

1) I hate flossing. Apparently, I'm the only person in the world for whom flossing is not some sort of zen-like experience, or I'm the only one that will admit it, but I really hate flossing. The reason I bring it up is because when I was flossing this morning (hey, just because I hate it doesn't mean I don't DO it) I got caught up in a spot where my teeth are a little crowded and it feels like I nearly yanked out a molar. Yes, ten hours later, my mouth still hurts from flossing. Stupid flossing.

2) Why are people kind of assholes to kids? Birthday spanks, "a pinch to grow an inch", noogies; people are generally kind of nasty to children. I mean, I know WHY people act like that. It's because people have issues accepting the autonomy of children. People consider children more like property or pets and hey, the dog and the coffee maker never mind when you lay on hands without asking. If you don't see a child as a human being unto herself, why would you behave as though she were? This is also why people have such a hard time teaching their kids about healthy sexuality. Kids aren't people! People have needs and desires! Kids don't have needs and desires! That's just icky!

3) However, I will never, under any circumstance, understand people talking to children in third person. Why do we assume that children understand the third person perspective but not first person? And it's weird that when a child is born, people take on special names for that child to relate to them by (mom, dad, grandpa, etc.) and then talk about themselves using those special names as separate from themselves ("Mom, whatcha doin?" "Mommy is making spaghetti for dinner") and then act surprised when children think the world revolves around them [the children] and don't consider the parents as separate people. WTF? YOUR CHILD IS CONFUSED ENOUGH ABOUT THE WORLD! WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT WORSE?

Of course, what the hell do I know, because I don't have a baby.

What I Learned Today

2009-06-18T00:44:00.003-04:00

They say you learn something new every day. I think that's probably true if you're going by averages, but not true in the literal sense. I know there are days when I'm bumming around watching Golden Girls and making crocheted flowers and I don't learn anything. On any day that I listen to Republican talk radio I'm pretty sure the opposite of learning is happening.

However, today I did learn things. I learned that deconstructing tee shirts is not as easy as one might assume. I also learned a few interesting tidbits about Johnny Appleseed and the history of apples in America:

But there’s a little detail the Disney movie and all the kids’ books about Johnny Appleseed got wrong. His apples weren’t for eating. They were for liquor. Apples don’t grow “true” from seeds–that is, if you plant a Granny Smith apple seed, the tree that grows will not produce Granny Smith apples (the vast majority of the time, anyway). The only way to be sure what kind of apples a tree will produce is to graft limbs onto it from another apple tree that has the kind of apples you want. Most trees that grow from seeds produce smallish apples that are bitter and very much unlike the glowing waxed fruit we’ve come to associate with health and a good diet. People would not want to eat those apples. But what they could do with them is turn them into apple cider, as the Junior Ecology Club mentions, but not the kind you buy at the grocery store around Thanksgiving. It was alcoholic apple cider.

For much of American history, alcoholic beverages were widely consumed by both adults and children. Before clean water was necessarily available, it was safer to drink alcohol, particularly in cities.

(from Sociological Images)

Who're YOU Calling Mac & Cheese?

2009-06-01T03:15:00.004-04:00

Ok, ok, I know I've talked about The Da Vinci Code being kind of ridiculous before but I just watched the movie and was wondering if Dan Brown had ever recanted on his insistence that the Priory of Sion was real instead of being a scam created in the 50's by that Plantard guy. So, I moseyed on over to the Wikipedia page about The Da Vinci Code and I was reading some of the criticisms of Dan Brown and found this gem:

In his 2005 University of Maine Commencement Address, best-selling author Stephen King put Dan Brown's work and "Jokes for the John" on the same level, calling such literature the "intellectual equivalent of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese."

Hey, Stephen King, way to be the pot calling the kettle a bad writer!

ETA: I just wanted to add that Stephen King is totally right and I am in no way defending Dan Brown. That guy can suck it!

On Dr. Tiller

2009-06-01T00:23:00.000-04:00

Things are getting out of control. You know what needs to end now? The abortion debate. I'm over it, I'm sick of hearing about it, I'm sick of churches posting huge banners on public streets about boo-hoo the children, I'm sick of my boyfriend's sister sticking her fat baby albatross in my face and telling me that abortion is equivalent to SIX MILLION ACTUAL LIVING PEOPLE being maimed, mutilated, and murdered during the Holocaust. I'm desperately tired of people having to die over it. Seriously, anti-choicers, it's time to let it go.

I don't really have anything to say about the murder of Dr. George Tiller. I do want to share a few things others have said though.

From Alas, A Blog:

He was a doctor, one who helped women through a difficult procedure. He sacrificed his life today because he was unwilling to step aside, to let women’s rights die at the threat of violence. May all of us who believe in a woman’s right to choose honor Dr. Tiller with the same steadfast resolve; terrorism works only when we surrender to fear. And the terrorist who committed this act (and the anti-choice cheerleaders who encouraged and endore it) must not be allowed victory.

From Shapely Prose:

Most pro-life organizations, including Operation Rescue, have tried to distance themselves from the assassination, and of course the vast majority of pro-life people would and do condemn murder. Nevertheless, the reality is, words have consequences. Publishing the home address and church of someone you call “America’s doctor of death” has consequences.

From Huffington Post:

Battered women are at greatest danger of being killed by their abusers when they are most strong -- that is, when they muster the courage to leave. The same phenomenon may be true in the abusive political abortion debate. The pro-choice movement, specifically our abortion providers, are in the greatest danger of violence when we take power. When the anti-abortion movement loses power, their most extreme elements appear to move to the fore and take control. The murder of Dr. Tiller suggests that violence against abortion providers may be far more linked to the power, or lack thereof, anti-abortion groups have politically than to laws designed to increase penalties against such acts.

History has another disturbing lesson for us. The escalation of anti-abortion rhetoric plays a direct role in instigating violence. When anti-abortion groups ratchet up the rhetoric, they know exactly what they're doing and the results it will have. Even if they maintain deniability, as Operation Rescue recently did saying, in effect, we wanted Tiller gone, but didn't want him murdered, they have inflamed the rhetoric. And suddenly people Like Dr. Tiller's murderer become inspired.

From Pandagon:

He didn’t have to do this. He didn’t have to put his life and his family’s life on the line every day to tend to women going through a little-understood trauma. He didn’t have to go through a sea of protesters who hate women so much they actually think that women are lying about their problems so they “get” to have later term abortions. He didn’t have to suffer through relentless legal abuse at the hands of fundamentalist misogynists who obtain political power by exploiting voter ignorance about abortion. He didn’t have to make himself the target for this murder to help women, but for whatever reason, he rose to this challenge, and that makes him a real hero.

Backup Plans

2009-05-20T17:15:00.002-04:00

If the Art History thing doesn't work out and I never follow through with the Astronomy thing (which I probably wouldn't) and I decide that I DON'T actually want to end up as a high school English teacher, I think I would like to open a restaurant. Nothing fancy, just a little place where I can offer to people like me the things that I can not find in a restaurant.

Karlen: Where would you like to eat tonight?
Kyle: I don't know. Somewhere with vegetarian options and drink specials.
Karlen: Um, TFB, bro.
Kyle: Yeah, I just severely limited our options down to none.

Zombie Apocalypse

2009-05-18T15:58:00.003-04:00

Five items I would want to have if I survived the Zombie Apocalypse:

1) A ball-peen hammer. Hammers are great close-range weapons. During a zombie attack, you don't want to only have a gun because it makes too much noise and would only serve to attract more zombies. Also, if I was being attacked by zombies I would not trust myself with a firearm, so I'll leave that to others with more gun experience. Claw hammers may get stuck in necrotic flesh, so the ball-peen is really the way to go. Kyle will have his rifle for emergency situations and a FUBAR (no, that's really what it's called) so I think between the two of us, we'll be able to handle at least a few of the undead horde.

2) My Doc Marten steel-toed boots. I actually decided I wanted a pair of these not long after I read The Zombie Survival Guide and received a pair from my Aunt Anne for Christmas of 2007. Not only are they awesome and stylish, they're also good for running from flesh-eaters, water resistant, and the steel-toes make them durable and protective. Your feet will be very important after the zombie apocalypse. Invest in excellent shoes. Note: I feel that everyone, especially my mother, should adopt this as a life motto and then apply it every time a fantastic pair of Skechers or Rocket Dogs pops out at her.

3) A size H crochet hook. This probably needs some explanation. While trying to come up with my personal five items, I tried to think of items I could use to really contribute to life after civilization. With a crochet hook, I can recycle pretty much any textile into clothes, blankets, socks, passable ropes, etc. A size H hook is a great all-purpose hook and my personal size H is the only hook I have that has a squishy thumb rest addition so I can use it for much longer periods of time because it's so comfy!

4) Duct tape. I hear it's very useful. I have a roll that I bought when my glove compartment fell off and I tried to duct tape it back on (which didn't actually work - way to not live up to it, duct tape) but I HEAR it's very useful so I would bring that roll.

5) My emergency backpack. I don't know if this is cheating since it contains WAY more than 5 items but it is something I keep available at all times so I'm going to count it because, um, what's a bigger emergency than the dead rising to destroy us all? I have an old backpack that contains items such as:
-adhesive bandages and Neosporin
-vitamins, antacids, Dramamine, ibuprofen, Imodium, No-Doze, and breath mints (they were just there)
-tampons
-tissues
-travel toothbrush and toothpaste
-a few bars of hotel soap

...and that's just the things I can recall at the moment. Obviously, a backpack would also be good for carrying other things but doesn't that sound like a pretty good kit? Also, this is basically a list of things I carried in my purse in high school because I've been becoming my mother since I hit puberty. Preparedness!

And that's my list. I'm assuming there will be lots of other survivors whose lists include USEFUL things like canned foods or water (or those water cleaning tablets) or matches, lighters, sticks and flint rocks, fire blankets and tarps, containers of gasoline, pocket knives, toilet paper, etc. Maybe I can barter with my lovely crocheted socks and my antacids. We'll make it, guys.

"She's a Rascal I Wouldn't Trust an Inch"

2009-05-07T00:57:00.003-04:00

I read a blog called Alberti's Window and today there was a post on images of washer women. There's an amusing story about how the author came up with the idea for a post on such an unusual topic but even better is the art itself. I particularly like this one:

Go on over and check out the rest of the post!

Welcome to the Club. We Have Jackets.

2009-05-06T19:40:00.002-04:00

Kyle: While I was out running this nasty old woman comes staggering towards me, hocks this huge loogie, and then yells "Hey, baby, you want a little of this?"
Karlen: Wow, that's pretty much what women put up with regularly!
Kyle: ...I have to take a shower.

Guernica by Picasso

2009-05-05T14:55:00.002-04:00

Name: Guernica
Artist's Name: Pablo Picasso
Date: 1937
Period: Cubist
Material: Oil on canvas

Compelled by the worldwide outcry after the bombing of the town of Guernica, Spain, by Nazi planes acting on behalf of rebel general Francisco Franco, Picasso completed the huge 11 1/2' X 25 1/2' Guernica in less than two months. This monumental painting condemns the senseless bombing without specific reference to the event - depicting no bombs or German planes. The collection of figures creates a visceral feeling of grief and terror. In the center, along the lower edge, a figure lies slain and holding a broken sword. A wounded horse tramples the fiure and rears back in fright as it dies. On the left, a woman shrieks in anguish as she cradles the body of her dead child. Women flee from burning buildings. One holds a light to survey the damage. The head of a bull overlooks the death and destruction. According to the artist, the bull represents "brutality and darkness". The use of only black, white & gray gives the painting the feeling of a newspaper article.

The Red Room by Matisse

2009-05-05T14:44:00.002-04:00

Name: The Red Room (Harmony in Red)
Artist's Name: Henri Matisse
Date: 1908-1909
Period: Fauvism
Material: Oil on canvas

For Matisse and the Fauves color was the formal element most responsible for pictorial coherence and the primary conveyor of meaning. The theory behind these color discoveries can be found in Red Room. The scene is the interior of a comfortable, prosperous household with a maid setting a table with wine and fruit. The color selections generate a feeling of warmth and comfort, while contrasting richly and intensely. This painting was originally done in green and then blue before being covered with the red that fit Matisse's intention of provoking an emotional resonance in the viewer.

Akua'ba by Bonsu

2009-05-05T14:30:00.004-04:00

Name: Akua'ba
Artist's Name: Osei Bonsu
Date: ca. 1935
Period: 20th century African
Material: Wood, beads, and pigment

These small dolls acted as fertility tokens for Akan women. The simplified wood sculptures were consecrated at a shrine, then carried by a woman hoping to conceive. Once pregnant, the woman continued to carry the figure to ensure the safe delivery of a healthy and handsome child, preferably a girl. Each akua'ba is different and this one reflects aspects of Bonsu's style: a more naturalistic rendering of the face and crosshatched eyebrows.

Note: I couldn't find a picture on the internet of the specific akua'ba in my book. This one is similar in shape and general idea but the one in my book is much cooler.

Burghers of Calais by Rodin

2009-05-05T13:46:00.002-04:00

Name: Burghers of Calais
Artist's Name: Auguste Rodin
Date: 1884-1889
Period: Realist
Material: Bronze
Purpose: Commission for public monument, Calais, France

During the English siege of Calais in 1347, six of the city's leading citizens offered their lives to lift the siege and spare the rest of the populace. Rodin shows these six figures in a convincing study of despair, resignation, or quiet defiance. The burghers seem to wander aimlessly and the roughly textured surfaces make them look bedraggled and compel the viewer. Rodin designed the monument without the traditional high base so that the citizens of Calais could be eye-level with their ancestors as they prepare eternally to set off on their sacrificial journey.

The Bath by Cassatt

2009-05-05T13:32:00.002-04:00

Name: The Bath
Artist's Name: Mary Cassatt
Date: ca. 1892
Period: Post-Impressionism
Material: Oil on canvas

Although Cassatt was a close friend to Degas and frequently exhibited with the Impressionists, because she was a woman her choice of subject matter was quite limited. Her subjects were typically women and children, whom she presented with a combination of objectivity and genuine sentiment. Her work, The Bath owes much to the compositional devices of Degas and of Japanese prints. The visual solidity of the mother and child contrasts with the flattened patterning of the wallpaper and rug.

The Third-Class Carriage by Daumier

2009-05-05T13:18:00.002-04:00

Name: The Third-Class Carriage
Artist's Name: Honore Daumier
Date: ca. 1862
Period: Modernism
Material: Oil on canvas

Daumier was known as a champion of the urban working class, the disinherited masses of 19th-century industrialism. Third-Class Carriage shows the viewer into the cramped and grimy railway carriage of the 1860's. The scene is painted candidly, the faces of his figures blank and dumbly patient. The painting is sketchy and incomplete, which lends well to the vague and impersonal subject matter.

Third of May, 1808 by Goya

2009-05-05T12:54:00.002-04:00

Name: The Third of May, 1808
Artist's Name: Francisco Goya
Date: 1814
Period: Spanish Romanticism
Material: Oil on canvas

The tragic events of May 3rd, 1808, became the subject of one of Goya's most famous paintings. On May 2nd, Spanish soldiers attacked the invading Napoleonic troops in a chaotic and violent clash. The next day, French soldiers responded by executing numerous Spanish citizens. Goya's painting depicts the faceless French soldiers murdering terrified and unarmed Spanish peasants. Their expressions are horrified and anguished and one peasant about to be shot throws his arms out in a gesture referring to Christ's position on the cross. Goya's use of high contrast darks and lights add drama to this piece. Other peasants, their blood staining the soil, lay dead at the man's feet on one side and more waiting execution are at his other side.

Grande Odalisque by Ingres

2009-05-05T12:27:00.002-04:00

Name: Grande Odalisque
Artist's Name: Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres
Date: 1814
Period: Neoclassicism
Material: Oil on canvas

Although Ingres was firmly planted in the Neoclassical style, some of his works made strong concessions to the influence of movements past and contemporary. Ingres' Grande Odalisque was homage to the reclining nudes of Titian and Giorgione and the woman's head and face borrow heavily from the women of Raphael's work. Her small head and elongated limbs, her languid pose and the subtle, cool color scheme hearken to the Mannerists, such as Parmigianino. By making the figure a Turkish odalisque, the artist gave a nod to the contemporary Romantic movement.

Distractions

2009-05-05T00:03:00.002-04:00

From Shakesville: "Fran & Marlo Cowan, who have been married for 62 years, play an impromptu recital together in the atrium of the Mayo Clinic, September 2008."

Return of the Prodigal Son by Rembrandt

2009-05-03T12:42:00.003-04:00

Name: The Return of the Prodigal Son
Artist's Name: Rembrandt
Date: ca. 1620
Period: Baroque
Material: Oil on canvas

Rembrandt depicted biblical scenes and religious works that were quiet and introspective, unlike most other religious painting of the time that intended to glorify the church with grandiose, highly decorated paintings. In Return of the Prodigal Son, the father embraces the son in forgiveness while the son kneels in contrition. They are placed forward in the frame and highlighted against a dark backdrop. The doubtful bystanders are veiled to varying degrees in shadow and set back from the major action of the scene.

Judith Slaying Holofernes by Gentileschi

2009-05-03T12:42:00.002-04:00

Name: Judith Slaying Holofernes
Artist's Name: Artemisia Gentileschi
Date: ca. 1614
Period: Baroque
Material: Oil on canvas

Gentileschi was greatly inspired by Caravaggio and this fact is obvious in Judith Slaying Holofernes. The highly theatrical lighting and placement of the figures close to the viewer against a darkened background, and the dark subject matter make this painting very much like a Caravaggio. There is a lot of drama and emotion in this piece: the fear and pain on Holofernes' face while he struggles to push the women off him, the determination in the faces of Judith and her maid as they hold the man down and remove his head, the blood spurting and staining the bedsheets. Gentileschi was also adept at the use of color. The red of Holofernes' blanket mirrors the spraying blood and the trim of Judith's dress.

Death of Sardanapalus by Delacroix

2009-05-03T12:41:00.001-04:00

Name: The Death of Sardanapalus
Artist's Name: Eugene Delocroix
Date: 1826
Period: Romantic
Material: Oil on canvas

This painting was inspired by the Lord Byron poem but the ending is shown quite differently. Sardanapalus hears that he is under siege and there is no hope for fighting back so he watches as everything he "loves" is destroyed before he burns to death on his funeral pyre. This isn't so much the death of Sardanapalus as it is the death of his servants, concubines and horse. For some reason, the authors of the book [Gardner's Art Through the Ages, 12th Ed. Vol. II] thought it necessary to emphasize how "sexy" this painting is, using words like "orgiastic" and "erotic". They don't say why they suppose that this is a "fantasy of the artist" but it really makes me question their interpretation rather than the artist's intention. The Romantic period focused on telling exotic stories to take the viewer away from their regular lives.

David by Bernini

2009-05-02T11:46:00.004-04:00

Name: David
Artist's Name: Bernini
Date: 1623
Period: Baroque
Material: Marble
Purpose: Commission for Cardinal Borghese

Unlike the Davids of the Renaissance, Bernini's David is shown in action, rather than in repose after action. His hips swivel and his shoulders turn in preparation to release the stone from his sling and take down Goliath. Also unlike Renaissance sculpture, Bernini's David is not "self-sufficient". He requires more physical space to move into and directs attention away from himself to the imagined approaching giant. His twisting body and the intense expression on his face add drama along with the theatrical billowing of his garment.

The Swing by Fragonard

2009-05-02T11:27:00.002-04:00

Name: The Swing
Artist's Name: Jean-Honore Fragonard
Date: 1766
Period: Rococo
Material: Oil on canvas
Purpose: Private "intrigue" picture

Rococo themes centered on love, pursued through erotic frivolity and playful intrigue. Artful fantasy paintings became ornamental reflections on the cherished pastimes or the wealthy French. Fragonard's The Swing is typical of this personal keepsake style. An unsuspecting old bishop pushes a pretty young woman on a swing. In front of her lies her lover, the work's patron, strategically positioned. As the swing reaches its full height, the woman kicks off her shoe at the statue of Cupid holding a finger to his lips, boldly and flirtatiously lifting her skirt in the process. The glowing pastel colors and soft light convey the theme's sensuality.

click for larger image

Galerie des Glaces at Versailles

2009-05-02T11:08:00.002-04:00

Name: Galerie des Glaces (Hall of Mirrors) at Versailles
Artist's Name: designed by Jules Hardouin-Mansart and Charles Le Brun
Date: ca. 1680
Period: French Baroque
Purpose: Overlooks the park from the second floor and extends alomg most of the width of the central block.

When Louis XIV gathered together a veritable army of architects, decorators, sculptors, painters and landscape architects to convert a royal hunting lodge into a palace, it because the greatest architectural project of the age. The Galerie des Glaces is probably the most famous of the richly decorated rooms and halls at Versailes. Its original furniture, including gold and silver chairs and bejeweled trees, has been removed but the halls splendor is retained by the hundreds of mirrors set into the wall opposite the windows, which gives the room an expansive quality.

click for larger image

Updates

2009-05-01T11:57:00.003-04:00

Wow, it's been nearly a month since I posted last. Sorry for that! There's been a lot happening here at BP HQ:

1) My no-product experiment lasted about a week. Perhaps I'll try this again in winter after I cut a good deal of my hair off. Trying this on hair as long and thick as mine in a Florida summer when the a/c in your car doesn't work? Nahhh...

2) Started, freaked out over, and completed my final paper for Art History. I went to class one day when I was about half way through and my teacher says, "Oh, by the way, your papers only have to be 1,500 words!" Everyone cheered! ...Except for me. I was already at 1,800 and assumed I was heading for 3,000. Seriously cut down on the amount of analysis I was planning. I think after all the editing and rearranging my argument to fit a smaller word count, I still ended up with about 1,800 words. Anyway, I'm pretty proud of it, considering, and if Blogger would ever make it so that I could put things behind a cut in a post, I would post it here. In the meantime...

3) I still have my final exam which means ten pieces to study and I might end up with a few of them on this blog, as I have done before. I skipped posting for my last test but may throw in a couple of those anyway. I'll have to go back and look to see if any of them were really interesting. The reason I didn't post them is because...

4) My laptop got broken. I don't know exactly how. It wasn't with me at the time. All I know is that the LCD screen was WAY cracked and that Kyle isn't allowed to take it to school anymore. My laptop is a MacBook and I really, REALLY could not afford to get it fixed professionally so we figured out how to fix it ourselves, ordered the part, and did so. The only problem was when we tried to put the hinge cover back on, we may have accidentally ripped the data display cable just a weensy bit. We ordered that part and it's here now, waiting to be installed, but because of finals and fear, we haven't quite gotten around to it. But hopefully once we get that all slapped together my computer will be good as new again, which was actually not all that good and I seriously doubt I'll ever be buying another Apple computer. It's Just. Not. Worth it.

Yesterday, I got my copy of the Fiction Writing class anthology. It's...actually a little embarrassing. Either the copy editors really dropped the ball on a lot of this stuff or the writers themselves didn't bother to make the necessary edits but in either case, the grammar and punctuation alone are pretty painful. I really enjoyed the class though, and I really enjoyed having a deadline that required that I sit down and write creatively. I'm glad I took it.

Today I need to make up a grocery list and whenever Kyle gets home from studying at the library we'll head to the store. I think tomorrow his grandparents are going to be stopping by for dinner and their way out of Florida back to North Carolina. My Art History final is Wednesday morning and then I'm done, baby!

I'll be updating again soon with a few AH snippets. Baroque to Modern, yay!

Derailing for Dummies

2009-04-05T13:34:00.002-04:00

I posted this on my Facebook (*eye roll*) but I'm posting it here for posterity's sake.

In face to face conversations, people will use these tactics but somehow usually manage to have a little more tact about it. On the internet, however, forget about it. Anonymity and the opportunity to experience other people as textual blurbs on a personal computer screen give one near absolute permission to behave like a tremendous dickwad.

This lovely satirical piece (which is also dead serious) outlines how you, too, can marginalize and insult practically anyone!

Derailing for Dummies

No 'Poo

2009-04-04T15:31:00.002-04:00

I have been hearing about this "No 'Poo" regimen for a while now. I've decided to try it out because I like the idea of not spending so much money on hair care products, not creating so much waste (think of all the shampoo bottles alone you've used up in your life, not to mention conditioner, hairspray, and other products), and letting my hair do what it wants to do naturally (a lesson I learned begrudgingly after many years of fighting with it). I'm going to try the baking soda washes and apple cider vinegar rinses at first instead of just quitting cold turkey. I don't think I could handle the oil overload that would arise from just rinsing with water at first. If, later on, I feel that it's working out for me, I'll try to use baking soda and vinegar less until perhaps I won't use them at all. That is, IF I get very far. There's a possibility I'll cave and go running back to my Herbal Essences shampoo for long hair like I'm on fire and it's the only pond in town. There's also the possibility that this will ruin the ends of my hair, drying and snapping my strands like a Slim-Jim. Since I sort of expect this to happen, I feel this is a good time to attempt this experiment since I've been thinking of cutting my hair a little bit anyway. I haven't even had a trim since last July and my hair is down to my shoulder blades. I can afford at this point to lose an inch or two. I haven't quite decided what to do about my patron saint, St. Fructis of Leave-In Conditioner. It's the only styling product I use. I guess I'll just have to figure it out as I go.

Anyway, I'll be updating about my progress, probably with little regularity. If anyone wants to join me in this, that would be cool too!

BTW, I probably will not be calling it the "No 'Poo" trial because I think that is a ridiculously stupid name. I'll probably call it "not washing my hair" or "not using product."

No Product, Day 1:

Your Plot Points Suck Too

2009-03-31T01:48:00.001-04:00

Dear everybody in my Fiction Writing class,

IS IT REALLY SO EFFING HARD TO WRITE IN COMPLETE SENTENCES?

Love, Karlen

Porch Garden Season 2 Episode 2

2009-03-26T00:18:00.003-04:00

I took some more pictures of my porch garden the day before yesterday. I had finally remembered to charge the battery for my D200 so they're much fancier than the last set.

Oh, but first! That morning, Kyle and I made veggie Benedict. Toasted croissant, sliced tomato, poached egg (huge hassle!) and homemade Hollandaise (I'm a fantastic saucier, by the way):

Convolvulus sprouts:

Oregano and Tarragon:

Morning Glory:

Phlox sprouts:

Fiddle Leaf Fig:

Jessamine:

Everything is doing really well. Sometime this week I need to get more soil and put the Convolvulus and tomato sprouts in a pot. The Morning Glory is going crazy! I can't wait until it blooms.

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-03-25T23:15:00.002-04:00

This looks awesome!

You're the Reason I Don't Want to be There

2009-03-25T00:47:00.002-04:00

Man on campus: I've got great news for you about Jesus Christ! [shoves a neon pink piece of paper in my face]
Me: [politely] Oh, no thank you.
Man on campus: Oh, COME ON!!! Don't you want to go to Heaven when you die?
Me: [less politely] Absolutely not.
Man on campus to girl behind me: I've got great news for you about Jesus Christ! You ought to be careful! There's sinners on this campus that tell me they don't even WANT to go to Heaven!!!

Can someone please explain to me why this is acceptable?

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2009-03-17T12:26:00.002-04:00

from indexed.

[ETA: Also, Happy One Year Blogiversary!]

Panda Roll

2009-03-05T00:13:00.001-05:00

Porch Garden, Season 2

2009-03-01T16:04:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, Kyle and I decided it was time to fix up the porch garden again. Last year, we had some issues leaving for a month in the summer, specifically that it rains EVERY DAY during a Florida summer and our pots didn't drain properly. Many plants were lost to the flood. Winter claimed a few more, my pothos and purslane and a jalapeno plant that had been doing exceptionally well up until cold and drought killed it off.

Anyway, here's this season's porch garden on day 1:

Palm rescued from unoccupied next door porch, Carolina Jessamine, fiddle leaf fig (which has recently been cut in hopes of making a bushier plant instead of a very tall stick with some leaves at the top).

Real flower boxes are very expensive, so we got these and some zip ties and made our own. I planted Morning Glory seeds in this one.

See?

This one has Phlox.

We're trying out these Burpee "eco friendly" starters. Kyle planted "Tasty Treat" tomatoes in this one...

and I planted Convolvulus (I...think) in this one.

My darling avocado, another Carolina jessamine, and our little Areca palm (I'm sure that's not how it's spelled. Whatever)!

Oregano, tarragon, thai basil (I think the only remaining small plant survivor of the summer flood), pitiful desert rose, pot 'o lavender seeds, weed that Kyle insists is something that we planted but has no idea what it is. And Kyle's butt.

When Mom came to visit a while ago, she brought us a couple grocery store Basil plants. Grocery store herbs are the weakest little things but this one has done surprisingly well! Keep on truckin', little Basil plant!

Ok, so there's our new garden. We're hoping the jessamine will sort of climb onto the railing and make a kind of cover but we probably won't be living here long enough for that to happen. Oh, well, still pretty.

Kyle's dad made me a five pound soap mold which I used....last weekend? Two weeks ago? I'm not sure but I made lavender spearmint soap in it. It's awesome!

Also, a couple weeks ago, Kyle brought home a toy for Momo. It's a catnip seagull (?) with all of these red maribou feathers attached. She basically lost her freaking mind for this thing:

The aftermath.

Ok, that's all. Happy weekend, everybody!

Orff!

2009-02-24T17:54:00.002-05:00

I remember a while back there was a Gatorade commercial that used O Fortuna from Carmina Burana by Carl Orff. I didn't like it. For some reason, I thought it was inappropriate but I didn't know why.

I found out today why! SKM posted on Shakesville about having seen a performance of Carmina Burana and gave a translation of the lyrics to O Fortuna:

25. O Fortuna (O Fortune)

O Fortuna, ----- O Fortune,
velut luna ----- like the moon
statu variabilis, ----- you are changeable,
semper crescis ----- ever waxing
aut decrescis; ----- and waning;
vita detestabilis ----- hateful life
nunc obdurat ----- first oppresses
et tunc curat ----- and then soothes
ludo mentis aciem, ----- as fancy takes it;
egestatem, ----- poverty
potestatem ----- and power
dissolvit ut glaciem. ----- it melts them like ice.

Sors immanis ----- Fate - monstrous
et inanis, ----- and empty,
rota tu volubilis, ----- you whirling wheel,
status malus, ----- you are malevolent,
vana salus ----- well-being is in vain
semper dissolubilis, ----- and always fades to nothing,
obumbrata ----- shadowed
et velata ----- and veiled
michi quoque niteris; ----- you plague me too;
nunc per ludum ----- now through the game
dorsum nudum ----- I bring my bare back
fero tui sceleris. ----- to your villainy.

Sors salutis ----- Fate is against me
et virtutis ----- in health
michi nunc contraria, ----- and virtue,
est affectus ----- driven on
et defectus ----- and weighted down,
semper in angaria. ----- always enslaved.
Hac in hora ----- So at this hour
sine mora ----- without delay
corde pulsum tangite; ----- pluck the vibrating strings;
quod per sortem ----- since Fate
sternit fortem, ----- strikes down the strong man,
mecum omnes plangite! ----- everybody weep with me!

The point of the commercial is ENTIRELY the opposite of the point of the song. I'm going to go ahead and call this irony. Kyle will probably say I'm wrong. He tells me often what is not irony but when I ask him what is irony, he says, "A fire extinguisher factory burns to the ground." That's the only example he has ever given me. I am unsatisfied with this.

Botticelli - Birth of Venus

2009-02-22T21:10:00.003-05:00

Artist's Name: Sandro Botticelli
Piece Name: Birth of Venus
Date: ca. 1400
Period: Italian Renaissance
Material: Tempera on canvass
Purpose: Commission work for Medici family

Inspired by a popular poem of the time, Botticelli created probably his most famous work for the Medici family. Botticelli depicts Venus after her birth from the sea foam being carried to Cyprus on a cockle shell. Zephyrus is shown as a beautiful couple propelling the shell using their breath. The nymph Pomona awaits Venus on the shore with a brocaded mantle. The garments undulate in the gentle gusts and flowers fall from the sky to the rippling water below. This was one of the first representations of a female nude to occur during the Renaissance, as Medieval sensibilities banned such depictions. But the attitudes of the Renaissance were more accommodating and the protection afforded Botticelli by his association with the Medici gave him confidence to create the piece. While his style seems to have ignored the scientific knowledge his contemporaries had gained, particularly in the areas of anatomy and perspective, Botticelli painted his figures with an elegance and delicateness not commonly seen, particularly in the detail of the hands and feet of the figures.

(Click for larger view)

Masaccio - Tribute Money

2009-02-22T20:52:00.003-05:00

Artist's Name: Masaccio
Piece Name: Tribute Money
Date: ca. 1400
Period: Italian Renaissance
Material: Fresco
Purpose: Brancacci Chapel fresco

Masaccio depicted a rarely used story from the Gospel of Matthew as the subject of this fresco. As Christ tries to enter the Roman town of Capernaum, he is stopped by the tax collector and ordered to pay tribute before he is permitted to enter. Christ sends Saint Peter to the shore of Lake Galilee where Saint Peter will find a fish with the tribute money in its mouth. This narrative is shown in three parts of the same panel. To the left of the piece, Saint Peter is seen on the lake shore pulling the fish from the water. In the center, Christ and the disciples are shown being stopped by the tax collector. To the right of the scene, Peter hands the tribute money to the tax collector who stands in front of the gate into the town.

The figures are painted as lit by a light source outside the frame. The light is angled and the angle remains constant throughout the piece. This allows much greater depth in the piece, as does the placement of the figures in a spacious landscape, rather than in the confined stage space of earlier frescoes. The architecture is depicted in one-point perspective, with the lines converging onto Christ's head.

(Click for larger view)

Ghiberti - Bronze Doors

2009-02-22T16:39:00.003-05:00

Artist's Name: Lorenzo Ghiberti
Piece Name: bronze doors
Date: ca. 1450
Period: Italian Renaissance
Material: Bronze
Purpose: Baptistery doors, Florence Cathedral

After beating Brunelleschi in a competition for the commission, Ghiberti began the bronze doors for the Florence Cathedral baptistery in 1425. Ghiberti was greatly influenced by Greco-Roman statuary and he was trained in both painting and gold-working. His pieces incorporate spatial illusion and cohesive narrative into a stylistically and technically impressive set of 10 panels depicting scenes from the Old Testament. Ghiberti's appreciation for the human figure and interest in the working of the muscular and skeletal systems are apparent in his forms.

(Click for larger view)

Limbourg Brothers - The Book of Hours

2009-02-22T15:56:00.002-05:00

Artist's Name: Limbourg Brothers
Piece Name: The Book of Hours
Date: ca. 1400
Period: Northern Renaissance
Material: Ink on vellum
Purpose: Illuminated Manuscript

A Book of Hours was used for reciting prayers and contained liturgical passages intended for private study. It also gathered together a calendar of local religious holidays, penitential psalms, litanies to the saints and devotional prayers. The calendar pages of the Limbourg Book of Hours (fully titled The Very Sumptuous Hours of the Duke of Berry) are some of the most famous in the history of manuscript illumination. Alternating scenes of nobility with scenes of peasant life, the pictures are vividly colored (blue pigment was rare and very expensive at the time) and richly detailed. Above each scene is a lunette depicting the sun as a chariot traveling through the 12 months and zodiac signs. The inclusion of the Duke of Berry, who commissioned the piece, among the figures in some of the scenes showed him as a pious, powerful and magnanimous leader, as well as a sophisticated art patron.

(Click each for larger view)

Van Eyck - Ghent Altarpiece (closed)

2009-02-22T15:35:00.002-05:00

Artist's Name: Jan van Eyck
Piece Name: Ghent Altarpiece (closed)
Date: ca. 1400
Period: Northern Renaissance
Material: Oil on wood
Purpose: Liturgical centerpiece, Saint Bavo Cathedral

Jan van Eyck's Ghent Altarpiece is one of the largest and most renowned Flemish altarpieces of the 15th century. The piece was commissioned by the burgomeister (chief magistrate) of Ghent, Jodocus Vyd, and he and his wife, Isabel Borluut, can be seen in the lower left and right hand panels. Between them are intricately detailed painted statues of Saints John the Baptist and John the Evangelist, Ghent's patron saints. In the upper register of the piece is an Annunciation scene which uses many of the symbols common to Christian tradition and also boasts a careful rendition of a Flemish town. In the arched portions of the panels appear Old Testament prophets Zachary and Micah and two sibyls, classical mythological prophetesses whose writings the Christian Church interpreted as prophecies of Christ.

(Click to view larger)

Giotto - Madonna Enthroned

2009-02-22T15:06:00.004-05:00

Artist's Name: Giotto di Bondone
Piece Name: Madonna Enthroned
Date: ca. 1300
Period: Early Renaissance
Material: Tempera on wood

Considered one of the forebears of High Renaissance painting, Giotto's depiction of the Virgin and Child stands as an excellent example of the changes occurring in art at the time. While Giotto still uses many of the obvious symbols of Medieval painting (the main figures are overly large and central, the opaque plate-like halos, the two fingered gesture of the Christ Child), there is a human quality and depth not found in works of the middle ages. The Virgin is draped in thin, delicate material and there is definite assertion to the shape of her body. Greater attention is paid to the detail of her face and the shading around her chin and throat. There are even faint blue lines visible on the back of her hand. Part of the movement of Naturalism was attempting depth through use of linear perspective. While the perspective of the throne is not correct, the intention is clear.

(Click for larger view)

Pisano - Pulpit

2009-02-22T14:31:00.004-05:00

Artist's Name: Nicola Pisano
Piece Name: Pulpit of Pisa Cathedral baptistery
Date: 1260
Period: Early Renaissance
Material: Marble
Purpose: For use during sermons, Pisa Cathedral

The pulpit commissioned for the Pisa Cathedral baptistery is impressive for its meshing of styles and influences, specifically French Gothic and Roman Classical. The 13th-century sculpture by Nicola Pisano shows an unmistakable interest in Classical art. The lower portion of the pulpit is made up of Roman-style Corinthian columns. On the center register rest the figures of Prophets and Evangelists separated by Gothic trefoil arches. In the spandrels of the arches are Saints John the Baptist and Michael, the Virtues, and a nude Hercules, probably a reference to the Classical inspiration for the work. The upper register consists of five relief panels depicting scenes from the life of Christ, all done in the style of Roman sculpture. The figures wear clothing typical of Roman fashions.

(Click for larger view)

"I love Jesus but I drink a little..."

2009-02-16T00:59:00.001-05:00

This clip from the Ellen DeGeneres show is several days old but I just found it and it's just too good not to share:

Complaint Box

2009-02-12T13:25:00.002-05:00

Because I just don't have the heart to complain to bloggers on their sites, I'm going to gripe here.

If you're going to post recipes for ANYTHING, please go through and make sure it makes sense and is accurate. Please don't leave things like "1 1/2 yogurt" in the ingredients list. 1 1/2 what? I'll assume cups. Please don't omit items from the ingredients list and then add them to the instructions. For example, if you do not list salt and baking soda in the ingredients, don't tell me to sift them into the flour. How much? Oh, and don't put things in the ingredients list and then not tell me where to put them into the mix in the instructions.

Ok, well, none of that probably made any sense but I'm frustrated. It's my turn to bring snackies to Fiction Writing tonight. I'm making mini muffins. We'll see how it goes.

OMG(sea)P0NIES!!1!

2009-02-09T01:41:00.002-05:00

I adore seahorses. Really. One of my life goals is to have a saltwater tank some day just so I can have a couple seahorses (also possibly an absurdly cool leafy sea dragon). Anyway, the point. NatGeo had an article on the finding of 5 new species of pygmy seahorse.

I mean, look!

Less than half an inch tall, people! TEENSY and adorable! I LOVE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!

Ok, that's all I got.

Art...or, You Know, Astrophysics

2009-01-28T23:28:00.003-05:00

I just watched Neil DeGrasse Tyson on the Daily Show. He's awesome. I was also talking to Blake today about Dr. Riban, the Astronomy teacher at DSC, since he (Blake) is taking that class this semester. He (Dr. Riban) is also awesome.

I really enjoyed Astronomy when I took it last semester and if I ever have a chance to I would like to take another class. If I thought I could hack it, I might toy with the idea of switching majors (again). But I can't (hack it), so I won't (switch).

Nobody said I couldn't still love it, though.

Cake?!

2009-01-26T21:34:00.002-05:00

I just found out that tomorrow (January 27th) is National Chocolate Cake Day. Kyle's going to hate me but I think I might just have to celebrate this. Maybe I'll try out that recipe for Guiness chocolate cupcakes again. Anyone know a good chocolate frosting recipe?

Yesterday I got in the kitchen to use up some stuff that Mom gave us when she came to visit. She gave us a pound of strawberries that we hadn't even STARTED eating so I cooked them up and made a pretty awesome strawberry jam. It's thick and sweet and a little tangy from the lemon juice I squeezed in.

Once I had jam, I figured we would need something to put it on. So, I made vanilla scones. I love vanilla so I added more than the recipe called for. They're not too sweet and the vanilla still came out pretty subtle but I think they're perfect for jam!

While I was looking up a recipe for vanilla scones, I found a recipe for Cheddar Dill scones. We had a bunch of cheese leftover from when we made macaroni and cheese, so I made scones with emmantalier and gruyere, sage, rosemary, basil and oregano. They are sooooooo good!

Does anyone else find the sexy M&M commercials really creepy?

100th Post!

2009-01-26T16:00:00.003-05:00

Here we are at number 100. What have I said in all these posts? Who knows!

When I liveblogged the election, I mentioned that before Obama's acceptance speech, they played a little video thing and used one of my favorite songs, "Fake Empire" by the National. I've been meaning to post that song ever since and just haven't gotten around to it, so here it is, along with some other videos just for fun.

This isn't an official video but rather a fan made one. Ignore it or not, the song is the important part.

Another song by the National - Apartment Story:

One of my favorite Radiohead songs. This is also a fan video but I think it's beautiful and works really well with the song. This is "All I Need":

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal:

That's all for now. Here's to 100 more.

Complaint Box

2009-01-24T17:30:00.002-05:00

I hadn't made soap in over a month, mostly because we were out of town for three weeks and because, after the rush to finish all of my holiday gifts, I was a little soaped out. But today I decided to haul out the ol' bucket and scale and make a "just for me" batch. Good thing the intention was always just for personal use because this went terribly!

I was running low on pretty much everything. I decided to do a mostly olive oil recipe and use up what I had left of coconut oil and palm kernel flakes with just a little bit of sweet almond oil to round it out.

I wrote up my recipe, ran it through a lye calculator and got to work. Right away I could see that things weren't going to go well. I ran short on palm kernel flakes and WAY short on coconut oil. After converting grams to ounces to percentages, I ran a new recipe through my lye calculator and added sunflower oil and a little castor oil to make up for the missing amounts.

I melted my palm kernel flakes and added it to the rest of the liquid oils. Then I realized that I had forgotten to line my molds. Then, while I was lining my molds, I cut the paper wrong and had to improvise, taping on pieces to cover bare corners. When I was finished, I turned back to my oils. The palm kernel flakes had started to solidify, making my oils look rather like egg drop soup. Dammit!

I put my pot of oils on the stove to warm the whole thing and remelt the PKF. Yay, ok, remelted, add lye water, begin to stick blend, OH NO WAIT!!! I forgot to prepare my fragrance and color. I was using a small bit of gold mica leftover from another project so I didn't really need to do that and I added 2 ounces of French Vanilla and Oak fragrance so that and stirred it together. Meanwhile, my raw soap is sitting and waiting, already at a very light trace.

I added the fragrance and color and began to mix but suddenly my very lightly traced batch was well beyond trace and into lumpy, curdled territory. WTF?! Oh, right, French Vanilla and Oak fragrance has VANILLA in it which accelerates trace to about a second and a half. Crap!

Quick, pour everything into the molds!!!

My soap is now in the molds on top of the dryer with a towel over them to keep them warm while they sap. My hands smell strongly of French Vanilla and Oak and will for the rest of the day, and I've got a small but stinging raw soap burn on my wrist. Hopefully, the soap will be at least usable when it's finished curing. We'll know in a month!

Too Late for Yelling

2009-01-23T02:49:00.002-05:00

Wherever we end up living after we move away from here, really the only thing I hope for are neighbors that don't frequently stand in the parking lot and SCREAM at each other in the middle of the night.

Who never learned that isn't acceptable behavior? Oh, right, my neighbors.

For Mom

2009-01-21T16:09:00.000-05:00

First day of school, Spring '09

Collectible Plates

2009-01-18T23:04:00.004-05:00

Karlen: "What is wrong with the world?"
Kyle: "I don't know. Why do people buy collectible plates? I think when you can explain collectible plates, everything else will fall into place."

The Full Moon

2009-01-12T18:04:00.002-05:00

On Saturday evening, my mom called me and said "I just left the store and saw the moon and you have to go look at it because it's supposed to be the BIGGEST MOON EVER!" so I said "Like, in the history of the world?!" and she said "YES!?". Anyway, Kyle's dad bought him a pretty cool little telescope for Christmas and we figured it would be a good time to try it out! We tried three different cameras with it (my dSLR, my P&S, and Kyle's cell phone camera) and the ones from the P&S came out the best. I didn't have the proper lens on my dSLR and couldn't get a good zoom and a good focus at the same time. Oh, well. Next time.

Greek Pasta Salad

2009-01-12T17:23:00.002-05:00

This recipe is adapted from a Cuisine at Home recipe for Greek Salad with Garlic Croutons. I decided to make it a pasta salad instead of using arugula and made a few other modifications to fit what I like and what I had on hand. This is a great dish to pre-make for snacks or lunches, since it gets better the longer it sits together, and also for taking to dinner parties or potlucks, since it makes A LOT.

To make it vegetarian, I left out the anchovy paste in the dressing from the original recipe so it's really more "fake Greek". This is also one of those recipes that, while there are (approximate, sort of) measurements in the recipe, it is better made "to taste". Add more of what you like or have! Leave out what you don't! Try adding pickled beets or red onion, use red-wine vinegar (or a little balsamic?), or fresh herbs. Make it yours!

Greek Pasta Salad
(adapted from Cuisine at Home)

FOR THE DRESSING:
1 C extra-virgin olive oil
3/4 C white-wine vinegar
2 1/2 Tbs finely chopped shallots
2 Tbs dijon mustard
1 Tbs kalamata olive brine
2 tsp dried oregano
freshly ground pepper & salt to taste

Mix together and set aside. Boil water for pasta.

1 pint grape tomatoes, quartered
1 large cucumber, seeds removed and chopped into bite-size pieces
half of one 8 oz. jar of PITTED kalamata olived, quaretered

(Note: Don't be like me. Make sure you get the pitted olives because standing there for 20 minutes fighting with olive pits isn't fun. And if you end up with the kind with pits, wear protective eye gear while smooshing out the pits).

8 oz crumbled feta

Prepare 1 box of rotini pasta according to directions on package. Rinse with cool water. Add vegetables and feta and slowly begin to pour over dressing, tossing salad gently. Allow to chill in refrigerator for at least an hour.

Modigliani

2009-01-11T23:24:00.002-05:00

Kyle stopped by our local used book store the other day and while he was there he picked up this book of Modigliani for me (he said he thought I would like it because it's expressionism and because the woman on the cover has armpit hair. It's nice to have a man who knows what you like).

Anyway, he was right, I love it. And I particularly adore this piece:

I told Kyle I wanted a big print of it and he said "Great, then we can replace the hideous clown!" but, alas for him, my repro Rouault goes nowhere.

Christ-O-Phobes!

2009-01-06T02:11:00.002-05:00

Ok, I was trying to sum up why Obama selecting Rick Warren to do the invocation was a piss-poor political move and Rachel Maddow did it for me a couple weeks ago!

If we really HAVE to do an invocation (we don't), there is no reason that it needs to be this jerkwad.

What Will You Get?

2009-01-03T01:47:00.003-05:00

I just watched the video for Nine Inch Nails' "Head Like a Hole" and began to ponder this line:

"You're going to get what you deserve."

Now, obviously, I don't think Trent Reznor meant it to be the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" catchphrase of 1989, but the phrase itself has neither positive nor negative connotations. Rather, when left without context or inflection it really has no meaning other than what is given to it by the one to whom it is directed.

Basically, if you were to see the sentence "You're going to get what you deserve" on a billboard while walking down the street, how would you take it? Would you think someone was saying "Hey, keep doing what you're doing. It'll pay off!" or would you see it as something more sinister?

2009

2009-01-02T02:41:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year! I know I haven't posted in a while and this won't be a long visit, but I've got lots in store for the coming year. With a couple new baking/cookbooks, a few new soapcrafting books, and several new crochet books, plus a new sewing machine, video games, art history and American history books (and a themed discussion group), and a whole new exciting semester ahead of me (including a creative writing class), I will have much to say. Plus, I have a plan for slow posting times so that there aren't periods of stagnation but we'll talk about that later.

Anyway, at dinner tonight Aunt Jean told us about the "flavor trends" for 2009. Some of the flavors I'm already pretty familiar with but I think I will try to incorporate them more (chimichurri and masala in particular) and try out the ones I don't know. The trends are:

1. Persimmon
2. Lavender
3. Cactus
4. Starfruit
5. Chimichurri
6. Masala
7. Peri-peri

I already have Aleppo peppers on a list of things to try and between that, the Peri-peri and the Masala, I guess we'll be having lots of spicy foods!

Some of my family and I have decided that 2009 will be American History Year and that we will all read books on that general topic and discuss them through our email group. My first book is San Francisco is Burning: The Untold Story of the 1906 Earthquake and Fires by Dennis Smith.

The Ocean is Scary

2008-12-17T01:38:00.003-05:00

If, like me, you love things that are awesome and terrifying, go here immediately and watch the video of the Magnapinna squid. The chilling stare of the creature and wildly thrashing camera help with the fear! Yay!

Bush, Redux

2008-12-17T01:10:00.002-05:00

Speaking of, I forgot to link this amazing collection of photos of President Broseph from Shakesville. It features patriotism-inspiring images of The World's Most Powerful Fratboy, such as this gem:

You know, in case you didn't have enough Fury Fuel already!

Bush

2008-12-17T01:03:00.002-05:00

I'm really glad this is what our President has been doing with his time.

No, seriously. I wish he had spent more time over the past eight years making iMovie videos about his adorable pets and less time, you know, breaking the country.
(From Scanner)

Staring Back at Me

2008-12-16T11:19:00.004-05:00

I had to go into school at 10:30 this morning to turn in my art history take home final and I don't have my next final until 1 so I came to Barnes & Noble to have a coffee and study for a while. But then I noticed this and I could not un-notice it, so here I am, not studying and complaining about inequality.

You know those big murals they have in the Barnes & Noble cafes? The ones with all the authors sitting around having coffee together like they were sociable people? Yeah, I was looking at that and first I thought "Hm, why did they make Hemingway look so handsome? Isn't his head really fat and square shaped?" and then I noticed something else: There are fourteen authors on the wall - Hemingway, Orwell, Nabokov, Joyce, Singer, Kafka, Neruda, Hughes, Tagore, Hurston, Woolf, Chandler, Lawrence, and Sandburg.

While I appreciate the inclusion of non-white and non-American/European people (Neruda, Hughes, Tagore), could we REALLY not think of more than TWO influential women writers? Really? I mean, we could even have non-white, non-American/European women! Just off the top of my head, Murasaki Shikibu or Laura Esquivel? Doris Lessing is British but she just won a Nobel Prize. Surely that makes her worthy of a B&N mural likeness? (Ok, I'm sure this mural was done before she won the Nobel Prize. Whatever).

I guess since none of them wrote giant tomes of masturbatory whining and unintelligible stream-of-stupid-ass-consciousness (I'm looking at you, Joyce and Kafka), they probably don't qualify as The Greatest Writers Ever. At least they didn't put Proust up there........effing Proust.....

I'm going to commit a grievous act of vandalism and paint over five of these dudes with awesome women writers (50/50's fair enough). Any suggestions on who to put up?

Please. Just. Stop

2008-12-09T21:54:00.002-05:00

I'm really can't come up with two people that I think are bigger raging dickheads than Bill O'Reilly and Karl Rove.

Similarly look, and I don’t want to diminish the challenges we face, particularly when it comes to unemployment.

Um...yes, you do. It's kind of obvious that you really really do.

But the unemployment rate today was at certain times during Clinton and in most of Carter['s] time in office higher. And, yet, we don’t see the similar scare tactics and the similar phrases and words out of the national media about these Democrats as we hear about the current situation.

THIS IS NOT A PARTISAN ISSUE, YOU PUTRESCENT BAG OF FETID DOG FARTS! No one is saying that Obama is going to come into office and IMMEDIATELY everything is going to be fixed (except for you). In fact, it's pretty much the exact opposite of what everyone is saying. But when you start saying shit like "So these are not going to have an immediate impact. And let’s see how tough they treat him on this and how much they hold him up to scrutiny," then it makes people think that Very Important People in the Media think that it SHOULD be immediate (although how you ever got to be a Very Important Person, I will never understand). But that is a completely irrational supposition because, I don't care WHO'S in the White House, there IS NO immediate fix. But you know that, don't you? You're not a COMPLETE idiot, although sometimes one really has to wonder...

Please, for the good of the country you claim to love soooooo much, stop fear-mongering, stop trying to incite mistrust, stop trying to cause bad faith, just. stop. talking. Now.

[Via Shakesville]

Tres Dramatique!

2008-12-08T15:44:00.003-05:00

While researching my paper on Giotto and the Arena Chapel Frescoes, I got COMPLETELY sidetracked by a bunch of other articles on later Renaissance art. One of Leonardo Da Vinci's paintings that I particularly like is the Virgin of the Rocks, probably because I think Baby Jesus and Baby John the Baptist are chubby and adorable in that Renaissance holy fat baby way (no one bothered to study the CORRECT proportions for babies and small children until much later).

Anyway, as some of you may recall, Dan Brown used this piece in the Da Vinci Code and made some pretty "far-fetched" claims about the symbolism used in it. For example, he purports that the Archangel Uriel, on the right, is making a throat slashing motion with his pointing finger. Brown says that this and other sly allusions placed in the painting by cheeky ol' Leo caused the Church to reject it, leading to the second rendition of Virgin of the Rocks (which I personally find not as attractive as its predecessor).

[I'm getting to the point soon, I swear.]

So, APPARENTLY, the Louvre had a WEENSY issue with Dan Brown and his artistic license:

The spectacular Grande Galerie in the Louvre plays an important role in the novel The Da Vinci Code, providing the setting for the beginning of the story. Far more remarkable than the parquet flooring with its chevron patterns mentioned in the book is the collection of Italian paintings. Four of the five paintings by Leonardo da Vinci in the Louvre are on display here. The Da Vinci Code analyzes The Virgin of the Rocks (which Sophie Neveu removes from the wall) in a new and subversive way. It suggests that Mary holds in her left hand the invisible head of Mary Magdalene, whose neck is being symbolically sliced by the gesture of the Archangel Uriel on the right. Leonardo was thus supposedly showing the Church’s conspiracy against Christ’s companion during the early centuries. This far-fetched interpretation of the painting might have been inspired by the work of Bernardino Luini just to the left: Salome Receiving the Head of Saint John the Baptist. In reality, Mary’s mysterious gesture relates to traditional religious iconography: Mary is the mother of Jesus, but she is also the incarnation of the Church, the “house.” In the painting, therefore, she seems to be covering the head of her Son with her left hand, as if with a roof. The Da Vinci Code thus transformed a gesture of protection into a metaphorical representation of murder. This powerful literary effect is a travesty of art history.

[Emphasis mine]

A TRAVESTY! For shame, Mr. Brown. For shame.

Destroying the Fabric of Democracy

2008-12-06T02:02:00.001-05:00

ACORN (obviously)
Feminists
Atheists
Pinkos
Vegetarians
Pregnant Black Women
The LGBTQI Community At Large
"Communists, Catholics, and Colored People"
Liberals
Immigrants (Specifically those of Latin@ descent, regardless of citizenship)
Fat People
Academics

This list is in no particular order and is definitely incomplete. It will (possibly) be updated at a later date. Any thoughts on who to add?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T23:51:00.002-05:00

I know there's only 9 minutes left in the day but I just wanted to hop on here and say I hope everyone had a nice relaxing holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving, love to all.

Dome of the Rock

2008-11-17T17:06:00.002-05:00

Dome of the Rock
ca. 500-1500 CE
Islamic
Mosque
--The Dome of the Rock is a domed octagon resembling San Vitale in Ravenna in basic design. The exterior is covered in vivid, colorful patterned mosaic and sharply contrasts with the Byzantine brickwork and Greco-Roman sculptured profiling and carved decoration. The interior is also highly decorated with mosaics. The Dome of the Rock was erected by the Umayyad caliph Abd al-Malik and houses the rock from which Muslims believe Muhammad ascended to Heaven.

Click for larger images.

(Dome of the Rock)

(Exterior windows)

(Definitely click on this one to see the beautiful tiling and Arabesque script. The colors are really fantastic. Big file, though.)

Christ the Judge

2008-11-16T23:39:00.003-05:00

Ed. Note: I had a really hard time finding this piece because it is not in my book (I don't have the $200 newest edition) and because my prof gave us THE WRONG NAME for it. It took me almost two hours of searching (not all at once, of course) to figure out that the correct name is "Christ Pantocrator". Luckily, I had seen the piece in class so I knew which one he was asking for because otherwise, I would have had no idea what to do.

Christ the Judge (Christ Pantocrator)
ca. 1100 CE
Byzantine
Mosaic
--Christ the Judge illustrates the shift in how the Church was portrayed in the middle to late Byzantine period. He is depicted much older than previously, wearing a beard and dour expression. He carries "the Book" and has one finger partially raised, perhaps preparing to point to one's fate. In the later Byzantine period, the Christian Church was becoming quite politicized and instead of a police force to keep subjects in line, used propagandist images to invoke fear and guilt in the viewer.

(Christ Pantocrator, Daphni, Greece)

Maybe A Little Petty

2008-11-16T23:37:00.001-05:00

There is a part of me that kind of enjoys seeing pictures of my ex-boyfriends and getting to think, "Wow, you really just didn't age well."

I am not ashamed of this.

Justinian Mosaic

2008-11-16T22:08:00.003-05:00

Justinian Mosaic
ca. 500 CE
Byzantine
--In Ravenna, Italy, on the western end of the Byzantine Empire, Justinian commissioned San Vitale, an impressive Christian church with a "Greek Cross" floor plan. The inside walls of San Vitale are highly decorated and on the north wall of the apse is the Justinian Mosaic. At the center of the mosaic is Justinian shown priest-king, haloed and garbed in purple and gold, carrying a paten or a large golden bowl containing the bread for the Sacrament. Closest to Justinian on the right is the Bishop Maximianus and indeed his is the only name that appears in the Mosaic. His importance is labeled also by the golden robe and scarf bearing the cross. Maximianus and the other clergymen are identified also by the items they carry: a cross, a book, and a thurible. To the left of the Emperor are several soldiers, denoted by their lances and by the shield one of them carries which bears the Greek Letters X and P, or chi-ro, a monogram for Christ. To show perspective in this piece, the mosaicist uses a simple method of overlapping: every man's foot overlaps the foot of his inferior, putting Justinian and Maximianus in front and all other figures behind them.

Click to view larger images.

(Justinian Mosaic)

(Detail of face of Justinian)

Hagia Sophia

2008-11-16T21:41:00.003-05:00

Hagia Sophia
ca. 500 CE
Byzantine
--Built in Constantinople for the emperor Justinian, Hagia Sophia (the church of Holy Wisdom) was the largest building in Byzantium and remains the largest dome of the ancient world. It is a marvel of Byzantine architecture - the dome is one hundred eight feet in diameter and its crown rises some one hundred eighty feet above pavement. One of the most impressive aspects of the dome is that it is circle at the base by forty windows which allow great amounts of light into the building and cause the dome to appear to be floating on a halo of sunshine. The structural devices that make this feat possible are hallmarks of Byzantine engineering. One of these is the pendentive, which is essentially a larger, flatter dome one which the primary dome rests, and transfers weight to the piers beneath, rather than to the walls.

Click to view larger images:

(Exterior: Hagia Sophia)

(Interior: Hagia Sophia)

(Hagia Sophia dome detail)

Christ as the Good Shepherd

2008-11-15T23:48:00.004-05:00

Christ as the Good Shepherd from the Mausoleum of Galla Placidia
ca. 400 CE
Italian
Tile
Decorative Mosaic
--Christ as the Good Shepherd is the subject of the lunette above the entrance to the Mausoleum of Galla Placidia in Ravenna, Italy. This piece depicts Christ as a young man, beardless (symbolizing innocence), haloed (piety) and dressed in purple and gold (regality), sitting among his flock instead of carrying a lamb on his shoulder as in earlier depictions. The loose, informal arrangement of the figures and easy posture of Christ reflect the early Christian perspective of the Church as kind and welcoming. The creator of this mosaic was still rooted in the classical tradition, as many Greco-Roman devices for conveying perspective are used.

(Christ as the Good Shepherd)

(Detail of Christ)

The Arch of Constantine

2008-11-15T23:11:00.002-05:00

To motivate me to study for my Art History test, I'm going to be writing posts about each of the eight pieces that will be part of the test.

The Arch of Constantine
circa 300 CE
Early Christian
Marble
Monument commemorating Constantine's defeat of Mazentius
--The great triple-passageway arch was erected in Rome between 312 and 315 CE. Much of the sculptural decoration and the columns of the arch were reclaimed from some of the earlier monuments of Trajan, Hadrian, and Marcus Aurelius. The heads of the emperors in these reliefs were re-cut to resemble the new ruler. These reused sculptures were carefully selected to associate Constantine with the "good emperors". In one of the Constantinian reliefs above the arch's lateral passageways, Constantine is shown on the platform in the Roman Forum, flanked on either side by representations of Marcus Aurelius and Hadrian. This recycling of earlier works is often used as evidence of a decline in technical skill and creativity in the latter part of the pagan Roman Empire. However, the friezes of this archway mark a distinctive shift towards the iconic art of the Middle Ages. The art of the Roman Empire was focused on portraying an idealized, perfected version of its subject whereas Early Christian art sought to teach and tell stories in a way that was immediately accessible to all.

(Arch of Constantine)

(Detail of roundel frieze)

The Rhinoceros

2008-11-14T19:46:00.002-05:00

From the comments on a Shapely Prose post:

A sporty White Rhinoceros
Was going for a run
When someone shouted “You’re too fat!
You ought to lose a ton!
You’re eating too much leaves and bark!
And what about your joints?”
The Rhino answered forcefully
With two well-argued points.

If you see a Rhinoceros
That thunders ‘cross the plain
In perissodactylic glee
Perhaps you should refrain
From commenting upon its weight;
In light of this example -
The heavier a Rhino is
The harder it can trample.
~MissPrism

I Always Thought That Was The Point...

2008-11-10T16:20:00.002-05:00

Kyle - "If you do a stupid thing once, you just did something stupid. If you do it a bunch of times, apparently it's not stupid anymore, it's 'tradition'."

My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen, is not a sentimental man.

It Finally Got Me

2008-11-07T19:43:00.002-05:00

As thrilled as I am about Obama's election, it hadn't truly hit me until I watched this video of Maya Angelou's reaction. And then I got all teary eyed at the end.

Liveblogging the 2008 Presidential Election

2008-11-04T00:20:00.000-05:00

Tiffany is without television or internet so I'm sending her text updates on the election. I'll post them here as well and call it liveblogging! I watched an AP map online as well as watching the news channels and the news channels called things WAY earlier than AP but since I didn't want to jump the gun I went with the AP results as they were called.

8:11pm - KY, OK, TN, and SC are called for McCain. VT, ME, MA, CT, IL, NJ, DE, MD, DC for Obama.

8:13pm - 78 Obama to 34 McCain in electoral votes.

8:22pm - 60% in FL so far support gay marriage ban with 22% of the vote in. Way to fail, Florida. But Pinellas went blue so that makes me feel a little better...I guess.

9:02pm - PA goes to Obama so it's 103 to 34 now. And they're getting ready to call RI for Obama which will be another 4.

9:10pm - MN, WI, MI, NY, and RI for Obama. WY for McCain. 175 to 46.

9:24pm - AR and AL for McCain. Not surprising. 175 to 52 in Obama's favor. He only needs 95 more!

9:31pm - ND for McCain. 175 to 55. This is taking FOREVER!

9:44pm - LA for McCain. OH for Obama. 195 to 70.

10:03pm - It's pretty much over. Barack Obama is President-elect of the United States of America!

AP is really slow at updating and everything else I'm keeping up with has it pretty much called for Obama. I stopped texting Tiffany at this point but kept tallying for the funsies.

10:09pm - UT to McCain. 202 to 80.

10:12pm - TCF (Token Conservative Friend) Roswell is trying to tell me that McCain has conceded and they're reporting it on DC political talk radio. Eh...I don't know about that.

10:26pm - TX and WV to McCain, OBVIOUSLY! 202 to 114 Obama. Woot!

10:42pm - NM for Obama and at some point IA and KS but I missed them. 207 to 114.

10:49pm - AP calls VA for Obama! 220 to 114!

10:54pm - MS to McCain. 220/120.

11:00pm - ID for McCain. Everybody's calling it. CA, OR, WA, HI, AND FL FOR OBAMA! Barack Obama is President!!! YAY!!!!! Florida goes blue?! AMAZING!!! 324 electoral votes for Obama to 124 for John McCain.

11:18pm - McCain's concession speech. He mentions Obama AND PEOPLE START BOOING?! Mature, guys. Real mature. The speech is, um...vaguely racist?

11:22pm - CO and NV for Obama. SD for McCain. 338/127.

11:31pm - OMG, OPRAH AT GRANT PARK! They showed her in the crowd...just sayin'.

11:34pm - They didn't NEED to open the speech with a (Christian, naturally) prayer...just sayin'.

11:37pm - Moustache guy needs to get on with it. YOU DON'T NEED TO PREFACE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE!

11:39pm - Slightly tone deaf woman singing the Star-Spangled Banner has a nice coat?

11:41pm - HOLY CRAP THEY'RE PLAYING FAKE EMPIRE BY THE NATIONAL WHICH IS MY MOST FAVORITE SONG EVER for this video opening the Obama speech that I can't actually see or hear except for the music. But seriously, guys? Pretty much the greatest song ever.

11:49pm - Talking to Tim on iChat: "GET OUT THE CHAMPAGNE, DOUSE IT WITH WHISKEY!"

11:53pm - Kyle: "We won, baby!" Karlen: "Yeah, I get to keep my human rights and shit!" (Note: One of my biggest fears about a McCain Presidency is that two, possibly three seats are going to be opening up on the Supreme Court during this term and I think they're all liberal seats. If McCain nabbed them for the conservatives, I'm pretty sure life would basically become The Handmaid's Tale in days).

11:56pm - NE and AZ for McCain. 338/139.

11:58pm - The Obama's enter the stage. I LOVE his family! They're so beautiful!

12:01am - Obama mentions McCain. Crowd cheers. Genuine class. Obviously, it's easier to be gracious when you KICKED THE OTHER GUY'S ASS but, you know, I'm just saying...

12:08am - From Pundit Kitchen:

12:10am - I love listening to this man speak. Some of the faces of the people in this crowd are making me misty eyed. This is really wonderful.

12:15am - YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!!! I don't think I've ever been more proud of my country. HERE COMES BIDEN! YAY! I really like that Obama and Biden seems to genuinely LIKE each other. I expect great things from this. Please, don't let me down guys.

12:20am - As much as I would like for this to continue all night, I have to be up at 7am so it's off to bed for me! Good night, everybody, and remember - Under a Barack Obama Presidency, you, too, can have a little of that audacious hope.

G-Strings*

2008-10-17T18:47:00.001-04:00

Alright, for my consideration more than yours, I have here three different versions of the same piece of music, which is the Prelude from Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007.

Now, first of all, apparently Mstislav Rostropovich died in April of last year AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME UNTIL LAST WEEK! WTF, guys? Here's his version:

(The youtube video I wanted to use was disabled so I had to find a different one so you have to wait through 23 seconds of introduction I'M SORRY).
While technically perfect, one of the tiny issues I've had with Rostropovich is that sometimes he plays these pieces as if he's brushing his teeth, which is to say, like he's so used to doing it that it requires no thought and he's just sort of going through the motions. "The Prelude, again?" he thinks, although in Russian. "Always the Prelude, everyone wants the Prelude." Also, would you like to slow down there Captain Flash Fingers? I'm kidding, Rostropovich, I love you and I'm sorry you're dead and I didn't know.

Then there is Mischa Maisky, who I have a weird fondness for, perhaps because his name is so enjoyable to say and not nearly as cumbersome as "Mstislav Rostropovich":

Now, I'm going to assume you heard the wild squawk in there at 1:12 and it totally harshed your mellow. However, I am willing to ignore this because Maisky's version has so much more feeling. Look at his expression. That man is totally concerned with doing right by the hourglass figure between his knees!

Ok, ok, I GUESS I'll throw in Yo-Yo Ma since everybody loves him so much:

Whoever made this video decided it would be way more awesome to intersperse far away shots of Ma playing in parking garages (?) with stills of children running around (??) than it would be to, you know, watch him perform the piece. Also, what's with the random inflection, Ma? I'm sure he's being hesitant for effect but there's sort of a flow to this piece and he is so not going with it.

I'm not going to post Pablo Casal's version because you have to wade through, like, seven minutes of black and white French blah blah blah to get to it and, um, it's not big on being worth it.

*Did you think I meant panties? Ha, oh, you silly thing.

Weighty Matters

2008-10-06T17:08:00.002-04:00

From Shapely Prose, this article from the NY Times:

Several studies suggest that if the aim is getting healthier rather than slimmer, then in the long run the “Health at Every Size” approach works better than dieting. In 2005, Bacon led the only randomized control trial to date that tested this hypothesis physiologically. She randomly assigned half of the 78 subjects, all women, to a “Health at Every Size” group; while they lost no weight, their healthier behavior led to lower blood-pressure and cholesterol levels, which stayed low even two years later. In the weight-loss group, more than 40 percent dropped out before the six-month low-calorie diet ended, and at the two-year follow-up, the average dieter had regained all her lost weight, and the only measurement that dropped was one for self-esteem.

Go read the rest and consider who would actually be losing out if we all stopped trying to force our bodies into the literally narrowest of ideals.